To the frazzled young mother on Mother’s Day

I always did pretty well in school growing up, at least until high school. I loved grade school, loved everything about it including the teachers, and I even wanted to be a teacher. When I hit the teenage years I changed my outlook a bit. Boys were a little more interesting than teachers but I still had many interests that kept me busy. I loved Sunday School, reading, the clarinet, and babysitting. The latter because it paid!

Then I met The Sweetheart and I knew I had fallen and fallen hard. Of course you will say I didn’t know what love was as a teenager. That’s what The Parents said too. But when July 20 rolls around it will be 39 years and whatever it was has lasted a long, long time.

I have never been happier than when My Three Sons were little and in school; the house was busy, messy and crazy. I dearly loved the daily routines, fixing breakfast, getting them ready for school, seeing them off to school, enjoying the little ones that were still at home, and trying my best to keep the house clean.

I miss that big old two-story, four-bedroom house with the wood floors that made so much noise when the three boys were chasing each other up and down the hallway. The memories of the wild things they did like duct-tape four-year-old Korey to the wall, pretending they were Tarzan only to have the vine break just as they soared halfway over the gully, or slamming doorknobs into each other’s foreheads…at least we kept the ER busy.

I miss riding the tractor for hours, the growing grass was just an excuse for quiet time! I could watch the world go by and see everything the boys were doing while the lawn was getting manicured: the softball and basketball games, chasing Molly the Beagle back onto her own property, or trying their best to pull a catfish out of the pond.

I couldn’t wait until they came home, even though I may not have gotten everything finished that I had intended. Even though they were going to pick at each other and there would probably be some punching and name-calling before the night was over, this is what I had chosen for my life. I didn’t want a career in the corporate world, nothing wrong with that, it just wasn’t for me. I had helped to get The Sweetheart there and he promised I could stay home with the boys. We never regretted it.

But seasons change and…

  • All of that time that I wished for a clean house?
  • No laundry flowing out of the basket and into the hallway?
  • No dishes in the dishwasher?
  • No dirt on the floor?
  • No Legos puncturing my tender feet in the middle of the night?
  • No calls from the schoolteacher?
  • No sound of little fists pounding on the bathroom door?

Those wishes have come true and I would give anything to relive them. You don’t know what you have sometimes until you are missing it.

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I remember when I was a young mother so many older women would say to me when I was frazzled and chasing three little boys, “Oh, you had better enjoy these days! They will be grown before you know it!” And I would just want to turn around and smack ‘em! I DID love my boys and I DID love everything about my life but sometimes it was just plain hectic. It is hard to realize that when you are in the middle of it.

And you know what? It is true…it does go by so fast. It is such a wonderful time in your life that you would love to be able to do over again if you could. Now I am the old lady saying the same thing to young mothers in the checkout line!

But God has given us seasons in our lives for a reason. And I am learning to enjoy every single one, even if it is sometimes painful. I didn’t know then what I know now and I didn’t have the relationship with HIM that I do now, which is so much to be thankful for.

And if you ARE that young mother who is so sleep deprived you can’t stay awake through church, remember they are only little for a short while. Drink in the smiles, the mischievous antics, the endless “Why’s” and “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!” God has entrusted you with His most important treasure and most important task: to bring up your child in the way he should go so that when he is grown, when she has children of her own, they will remember a frazzled mother who even made mistakes but they will also remember the time you spent with them and the love that surrounded them.

For God is in control of each new day and if we let Him, He makes every season beautiful in its own way. And, don’t forget, the grandchildren are coming!

(photo courtesy of Shelby Fannin Photography)

 

 

3 thoughts on “To the frazzled young mother on Mother’s Day

  1. Sandy Miller

    I can relate to all the above! As your Mother,and raising 4 children,I would see other women driving by all dressed up,as I’m hanging wash on the line,thinking someday the kids will be gone and I can have free time. Now that I have it,I would love to go back to those days! J.D. and G. B.fighting ,Rhea in the bathroom and were all waiting our turn( only one bathroom) 🙂 You and Tina running back and forth to each other’s house. Time went to fast ! Now ,we’ll as you say we can’t go back ,but we have the grandchildren and great grandchildren:) Mom

  2. Candace Jo Post author

    Writing that post made me cry 🙁 I miss it all so much but hey, you can’t go back! Email me and let me know how you are doing today!!

  3. Ellen MR

    Oh how I can smell that cut grass, hear the creaky floors and hear kids playing and yelling…I can hear the longing and happiness of that season of your life-
    just beautiful Candacejo!! 🙂

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