Category Archives: birthdays

When babies don’t feel welcome in The Church

When babies don’t feel welcome in The Church

If you are acquainted with me or Hope in the Healing even just the least little bit, you are aware that we have been blessed with a miracle grandbaby, Norah Jayne. With us now just 4 1/2 months, she already trumps every plan and every move we make; our lives are centered around this little bundle of joy.

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Our family took a vacation together to the mountains to celebrate my DIL’s birthday and to just be together this past weekend. We also dedicated our precious miracle and gave her back to the Lord in a beautiful, intimate ceremony in the Smoky Mountains. Norah had her Mommy and Daddy of course, norah1her cousin Liam who read a beautiful tribute he had written,norah5

her Nanny on Mommy’s side,IMG_3246

her Uncle Krisnorah0

and Uncle Koreynorah4

plus The Sweetheart and Yours Truly, a.k.a., Nana and Poppy.norah3

It was beautiful!norah

Norah’s pediatrician had given the go-ahead for baby cereal to be introduced and Mommy decided that when we were all together would be the perfect time to let Norah be fed with a spoon for the first time.norah8

I truly wish someone had been there to take pictures of all of US taking pictures of Norah. Eight people hovering around cheering her on as if she were the only person on the planet to ever eat cereal. (She wasn’t overly thrilled at first but caught on pretty fast!)

Then, Sunday night, we were privileged to be in service in Knoxville where I heard a pastor compare the attention we give to new babies, and rightly so, to the attention, or lack of, that we give to newcomers and visitors to our churches.

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Ouch.

When you welcome a new baby into the family (btw, that term has always intrigued me…are there any OLD babies?) they don’t have to beg for your attention, do they? They don’t have to ask to be loved, held, hugged and snuggled or to be included in family functions! In fact, it is quite the opposite, they are the center of all the attention. The baby is usually the reason we gather together. There isn’t anything they do that we aren’t overjoyed with and more cell phones are pointed at that newborn than Jennifer Lopez on the red carpet.

Do we make over them as we do a newborn that has just entered our family? The Bible says the angels rejoice when ONE sinner repents!

What about when they walk in the door? Is it only the ushers that greet them? Are they then left to feel awkward as they make their way to a seat and hope it doesn’t belong to someone else? After they are seated, what about those in front and behind them? If that is you, do you turn around and speak?

“Well, I am shy. I wait until they speak to me.” Seriously? Is that what we do with a baby? Wait until they notice us, or speak to us? No, because they are a baby! They are the newcomer in the room and need someone to care for them, to love them, to help them find their way.

Anyone can say, “Hello! So glad you are here!” Especially if they are new converts or visitors that do not know the Lord, they need to feel as if they belong so that they will return. We want them to feel the presence of God and His love and it begins with us because He is IN us!

I have been a newcomer, more than once. I have also been the pastor’s wife so I have seen all sides. Recently we made a major move to another city, another state, to be near Norah Jayne. Our new church family has been amazing in making us feel at home. Some of them we have known a while, some only from a distance, and most we are just learning their names. But every time I walk in those doors, not just one person speaks and welcomes me but several. Others have given up their seats so we could have a place to sit! I have never felt as if I was taking someone’s seat and that is a testimony to great leadership, teaching and examples of servanthood.

A baby that is ignored, not fed, not loved and not made to feel welcome will do one thing.

It will die.

And a new baby in Christ will do the same thing if they are not made to feel as if they are the most important person in the room…because they are.

Love on them, welcome them, invite them out for Sunday dinner or over to your home for conversation. Go shopping with them, to a ballgame, INCLUDE them in church activities or group events. Have a Bible study going in your home? Let them hear about it! If announcements are made about something going on at the church, a dinner, fundraiser, etc., make sure and tell that newcomer that you will be looking for them there and then follow through. Invite them to sit with you so they don’t feel uncomfortable. It makes all the difference in the world.

Yes, babies are a lot of work. It takes time to care for them, nurture them and give them the tools they need to grow. But they will grow and they will become workers in the Kingdom who will then reach out to other babies and so on and so on. Remember, they are not ready for steak and eggs. It takes time for them to learn so don’t expect them to get everything right. In fact, we can learn from them! Babies are filled with wonder with everything they come into contact with. Everything. Their eyes light up with every bit of knowledge they take in.

Babies, kind of like puppies, also think YOU are wonderful and new converts are no different. Just as a baby and toddler will copy their parents or siblings, so will a newcomer to the Lord. They will imitate you and watch your every move. Make sure you practice what you preach so as not to be a stumbling block to them. Remember what it felt like to be the new kid on the block whether it was at school, a job or your church. You don’t want them to get six weeks or six months down the road and say they just couldn’t fit in or feel as if they didn’t belong.

This is the Gospel in action. This is what Jesus came to do and this is the commission He gave us as well. Preach the Gospel, walk in love so that we can point others to Him. It’s not about us when the baby enters the room, it’s all about them.

Love those babies, He has entrusted them in your care!

For the Kingdom

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Happy 90th Birthday Charles Richard Elkins!

Happy 90th Birthday Charles Richard ElkinsI met Charles Richard Elkins 42 years ago at an old country church in southern Indiana. He was the song leader, long before there were worship pastors (and if you know me, I am not against worship pastors!) He had a booming, yet not overbearing, beautiful tenor voice. It would carry without need of too much sound equipment, although there was one microphone protruding from the wooden pulpit.

He sang songs such as In the Sweet By and By, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms, O I Want to See Him, Victory in Jesus, I Need Thee and How Great Thou Art. He could lead a group of people in congregational singing like few could. He wasn’t an outwardly emotional person, although, down through the years I did see an occasional tear being wiped away when ushered into the presence of God or a new grandbaby came along.

He was faithful. Being a masonry contractor and a farmer, he was a very busy man. But when it would come church time, there he was, with his family, sunburned with his famous red face and white head. (John Deere hats were a necessity to keep that head from being the color of his face!) He owned two cars the entire time I knew him. Both bought new and driven until Tava probably insisted it was time to trade. He could have bought a new one whenever he wanted but that would have been wasteful and he was never wasteful.

He loved his work and was one of the best. You can drive around our college town and see so many structures that he created or helped restore. From houses to banks, hotels, office buildings, or my favorite, a brick serpentine wall that seems to crawl down Second Street, he could do most anything in our opinion.

Serving at the end of the war, he was sent to process POW’s as a dental assistant. He even considered that line of work after the war but never pursued it. He was to be outside, working with his hands and giving others opportunity to learn the craft as well. He hired his brother and brother-in-law, among others, and Elkins Masonry was born. All three of his sons helped him at some point in the business but he truly didn’t want them to follow in his footsteps, the work was hard.

While in the service, still stateside, he helped start a brand new work in a small town outside of Camp Crowder, Missouri. He wasn’t a preacher, but of course we all know God doesn’t require a license to spread the Gospel. He just saw a need and with the help of a few of his buddies, began a storefront church to bring others to know Jesus Christ.

This unassuming, 6 ft. tall man with a limp, was my father-in-law, Dick Elkins. Today would have Happy 90th Birthday Charles Richard Elkinsbeen his 90th birthday but, unfortunately, he passed away in August, 2001 from amyloidosis, a disease where your body makes too much protein. (It’s much more complicated than that but I’m not complicated.)

I can only remember having one argument with this man-of-few-words in all the years I have been in the family, which is a long, long time. We were making our first move away from our hometown, the first of the kids to do so. He was sure that we were making a huge mistake and let me know that. I had never seen him so upset. Our only child at the time was only four years old and I know that was a huge part of it. But just a few short years later when that son, the one we call The Sweetheart around here, graduated fourth in his class, and went on to be an air traffic controller and supervisor at the Indy Center, he was nearly beaming from his seat at the graduation ceremony in Oklahoma City.

Several years later, we found ourselves buying the farmhouse where they had raised their kids after Dick had subdivided the farm and built a new house for him and Tava. We were ecstatic to be back by family even though it meant an hour commute for The Sweetheart. As much as we loved raising our boys there, God had other plans and seven years later we were moving again.

By then he was not doing so well in health and didn’t have much strength in his legs. That didn’t keep him from puttering around the subdivision, checking on new houses being built and getting in his visiting on his golf cart. We gave them the news and as was his nature, his silence was deafening. Finally, he just wheeled the golf cart around and drove away.

Does that mean he wasn’t supportive? Absolutely not. He understood the call of God on a family’s life, they all had one, but theirs didn’t mean leaving family and that made it just plain hard.

His wife, my mother-in-law, Tava, will be celebrating her 90th birthday April 29, which is also always their wedding anniversary. She is excited to know that she has made it that far. But today, we will celebrate and remember that Dick would have turned 90 first, on March 8. I don’t think that has registered with her yet, that he would have made the milestone before she did had he lived. (smile)

Happy 90th Birthday Charles Richard ElkinsHappy 90th Birthday, Charles Richard Elkins, and thank you for all you did for your family to make life easier and memorable. You would be proud of your 13 grandchildren, some you were never privileged to meet, and your two great-grandchildren, plus two on-the-way, and of course the new inlaws that have joined us to make our family complete.

Because of your sacrifice and dedication, your family is serving God today. All of your children are in the ministry in some capacity. Your grandchildren include a pastor’s wife, two worship pastors, church board members, praise singers, Sunday School teachers, choir directors and musicians. And who knows what the great-grands will be called to do in the Kingdom of God. Our lives are centered around that and we thank you.

If any of the rest of the family were writing this today, they would add their love and memories of things you have done for their families as well and how much we miss your words of wisdom. We also wish you could see how we fill up the house when we gather together. It won’t be long until we will have to find other places to meet to accommodate the crowd that started with only two so many years ago.

Happy Birthday!

How to Celebrate a Golden Birthday!

If you are under 31, you have celebrated your Golden Birthday whether you knew it or not. A Golden Birthday is when you turn the same age as your birth DATE; i.e., 17 on the 17th. Mine was a few years ago when I turned 20 on July 20th…okay it was 34 years ago but who is counting?

This week we celebrated big when my middle son, Kristopher, turned 29 on the 29th. I was aware of Golden Birthdays but wasn’t sure how to pull it off. With the help of my youngest son, who was in charge of the meal, we got busy and decorated. In Gold. Lots and lots of Gold.

Celebrating a Golden Birthday

Birthdays are made to be golden! 

This was our main focal point in the dining room. The party was at my son’s apartment so most of our decoration was right here in the center of the action. We also had golden streamers in the entryway of the townhouse, hanging from the open banister and also from the bar.

We went for the huge number balloons (a little expensive but worth it!), making trips to two different Party City stores to get the 2 and 9. When I finally arrived at their apartment, I was so proud to maneuver all of those balloons out of the car and up the stairs. Then I realized, to my horror, that #9 was not with us any longer. I ran outside to see where he had gone. That still makes me laugh, how did I think I would catch him, I couldn’t even see him as he had flown up and over Fishers, Indiana into the wild, blue yonder. Ten big ones down the drain.

We couldn’t have a 29th birthday party without a #9 so my wonderful chef paused what he was doing to run to Party City #3 to get a #9. My hero.

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We had gold plates, gold napkins, gold confetti, (I forgot the cups). Everything was coming together…

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I even bought gold Rolo’s, gold Reese Cups and gold Werther candies! Depending on what your theme is you could also go with Golden Oreos, Goldfish crackers, let your imagination wonder.

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unnamed (2)I thought this was a great idea but didn’t get an after photo. Found this chalkboard on clearance at Target…in gold! Grabbed some chalk and streamers for the cubby decor and presto! As they entered the room there was a place for them to wish Kris a Happy Birthday and leave their card or gift. (not required!)

Unfortunately, I did not get a picture of the lasagna. It was not gold but it was certainly delicious. Korey makes some of the best lasagna I have ever eaten; it was a hit and disappeared quickly.

We saved Mandi’s amazing peanut butter pie until last. Pie for birthdays? Why not? Find out what the favorite dessert is of the birthday boy/girl and go for it. There are no rules! Mandi even had edible gold sprinkles for the pie which was already golden in color.

unnamed (1)And yes, if you are counting, there are only 20 candles on the pie. I was so excited to find gold candles I didn’t even think to see how many were in the pack. I don’t think he even knew it. Until now.

Korey and I spent the afternoon cutting out faces of all ages of Kristopher. I downloaded them, enlarged them all on my computer then went online to Office Depot and ordered just regular 8×10 copies of his face from infant to the present. I had them put on heavier card stock and then cut them out and glued them on over-sized popsicle sticks (Hobby Lobby).

After pie, we all picked a Kristopher that we wanted to be and posed for a group picture.The real Kristopher is in the red plaid shirt kneeling on the floor. Duh. It was great fun!

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Me with the Birthday Guy!

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Don’t forget, after age 31 there are no more Golden Birthdays but every birthday is special when you are surrounded by those that you love the most.

Holy Bathrobe! Happy Birthday Kristopher! (He was pretty excited about his Batman robe, he has great friends. What?! You’re jealous, right?)

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Have you celebrated a Golden Birthday for yourself or someone else? What kind of things did you do or how did you decorate? We would love to hear!

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