Category Archives: Chronic Illness

Show Jesus you want to be picked up by Him!

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Every once in a while, social media gives you a win. Such was the case a few days ago when I was mindlessly scrolling and feeling sorry for myself.

I was just a week out from having back surgery: Basically a REDO of a failed spinal fusion in 2018 of my L4-L5 and L5-S1. Fusion had not taken place and I literally had loose screws causing pain.

Since then, my vertebrae at L3 decided to jump down and lay on top of L4 causing the utmost pain and suffering the last six months and requiring, in layman terms, a lumbar spinal fusion from L3-S1 with cages, rods, and screws, oh my! The surgery went well and everything looks great except for the horrific nerve pain I am having in my left leg. It has caused endless, sleepless nights and nothing has touched the pain, nor do they know specifically what has caused it.

So, here I had landed, wondering what was passing me by in the world when I came upon this post by a sweet friend about her six year old daughter, Haylee:

“On Sunday, Haylee wanted to be in the main sanctuary with me and said, ‘I wanna praise Jesus with you, Mom!’ Obviously I said, ‘Okay!’

And boy did she!!

I let my hands down because they were losing circulation and she grabbed my hand, shoved it back in the air and said, 

‘Mom, you need to show Jesus you want to be picked up by Him!’”

And in an instant, one sentence, one thought can change your whole perspective. And maybe even change your life.

Haylee’s mommy told me that her precious little one was recently baptized; her love for Jesus has grown with every passing day. Haylee has asked her why she raises her hands in the car, at home, at church or even outside just listening to worship music and Jessica replied that it is her way of sending Jesus hugs and receiving His hugs in return! 

“Haylee, when you want Mommy to pick you up, what do you do?”

Her little eyes dancing in wonder and awe, she slowly replies, “Ahhhh, so Jesus picks us up when we lift our hands?!” 

“Exactly!” 

“And now she can’t get enough of lifting her hands and worshiping our Savior. God continues to answer my tear-filled prayers and it brings tears of joy to my eyes to know how much He loves us!”

Wow. This is sermon material that I will not do justice to but I will keep it simple and it will encourage and bless all the same because one little girl, one innocent heart, just believes what she is told, loves what she believes and acts on it. Haylee goes on to say that when she has been scared she just says His name, “Jesus”, and the fear goes away, and in her words, “Mom, it works!”

Yes, Haylee, it works! I have prayed and prayed for relief from pain these last couple of weeks, actually months, make that years, but it rarely comes the way I want it to. Not that God hasn’t healed me before, you can read of at least one of my miracles here. Besides the burn, He completely healed me of migraines ten years ago, I have not had one since. When He does heal me, HE will receive the glory, the miracle will magnify HIM and others will be blessed, encouraged and maybe find their way to the throne!

Even though I still have pain, every time I would lift my hands, He would pick me up, reassure me He was with me, comfort me with the knowledge He had been in my shoes, with even worse pain and He would give me the strength I needed to overcome. 

His Word is His promise, His promises are true, His truth prevails time and time again! 

And maybe sometimes, just maybe, our joy in our pain, our confidence in our God, our trust that He is with us no matter what, the JOY we find in living for Him, regardless of pain and suffering, is a blessing and strength to someone else. You are always being watched, child of God, others are interested in the One you say takes all your fears away. They know you still have pain, but they also see you still praise God, you become stronger regardless of suffering and every day becomes a testimony of His goodness in so many ways.

We may not always receive the instant miracle we are seeking but when we lift our hands and ask Jesus to pick us up, with child-like faith, child sized trust, He will respond with God-sized strength!

When I first came to know Jesus, I heard our lifted hands were like a funnel, “Fill me up, God, fill me up!” I also heard it was a sign of surrender, giving everything to Him in recognition that He is all powerful and we are nothing without Him. 

All  of these are true; whatever you need for your current situation, He is that! If your predicament is physical pain, then hands in the air and call on Him, “Pick me up, Father! Here I am, Lord, hold me, strengthen me, help me.”

Many are fearful of the virus, many others are stressed about being away from those they love, then there is the intimidation and peer pressure both ways about what we should do or what we shouldn’t do this holiday season. Sometimes it is all just too much! So….hands up! Surrender those fears to Him, let Jesus carry that burden that is too big for you then let Him fill that funnel and give you the peace that passes understanding.

It doesn’t matter what your situation, God has the answer; sometimes it is just Him, sometimes that is all we need. He will show us His wisdom, His strength and impart comfort that only He can give.  He will reassure us He is with us in our pain, He has overcome and that same power that raised Jesus from the dead, lives in us! 

Raise those hands today, surrender and let God pick you up, strengthen, establish you and bless you beyond measure.

Jessica and her adorable family!

Enjoy this similar post, Holdju!

When the plan falls apart, then what? Part II

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Make a decision to adapt and climb on board!

In 1786, Scottish poet Robert Burns penned the line, “The best laid plans o’ mice an’ men often go awry.” Apparently, things not turning out exactly as planned is an incredibly old phenomenon. The blog Stranded here at Hope in the Healing, as well as the first part of this one, attests to the fact that plans are not fail-proof. 

While thinking about the many trips I have taken, I could not forget our family vacation to Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone Park. I think it was 1977 and as we were driving away from Mount Rushmore, Dad’s car started overheating. We ended up stranded seventy miles away, in Spearfish, South Dakota. The car’s engine was beyond repair so Dad bought the only used car available there. Money had to be wired from Indiana to South Dakota, and it took a couple of days. While we waited, we indulged in a local favorite, the Polka Dot drive-in restaurant. (Picture bright pink awnings with big white polka dots.) We kids snuck off to enjoy The Apple Dumpling Gang, showing at the theater. Although the plans had most decidedly gone awry, and Dad’s stress must have been intense, we ended up creating some fun memories. Dad drove the Oldsmobile he bought for many years and we still talk about this and have a laugh together.

My thoughts turned to the more philosophical idea of our lives as a journey. Almost every youngster has an answer for the question of what they want to be when they grow up. At age four or so, one of my great-nephews would answer he wanted to be a garbage man. Now that he is a mature seven, he wants to be a marine biologist. Plans change; we adapt. By the time we leave our teenage dreams behind, most of us have at least a vague outline of our life journey. I had what I considered a great plan; I would become a pharmacist. Marriage was only an option if I found my soulmate, no settling for less. I would work hard, put in extra hours, and save, save, save, making sure I owned a home mortgage free, and be able to retire at age 58. Then, I would shift from career to doing things I really wanted to do and then would be free to travel. I would go to Ireland and connect with my heritage; life would be mine to enjoy.

Early on, things began to go awry! I became a pharmacist, and worked hard: driving all over Indiana filling in shifts for other companies after working my own full-time position. I had some nagging health problems that had been in the background since college. The fatigue of working so much seemed to aggravate what was diagnosed as rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. As these diseases became more problematic, I was determined to push them to the side and win the battle they were waging. I had a nice home with a nice mortgage attached. 

During the fifteen years after college, I did nothing except work. No travel, no spa days, just work! (At age 35, I did find my soulmate which was the bright spot in this period of life.) By age 40, rheumatoid arthritis had destroyed my right knee, requiring it to be replaced. Despite always declaring I was fine, the progression continued. At age 46, I could no longer work, and have since been on Social Security and private long-term disability. I just turned 58. Now is when I planned to travel and enjoy life to the fullest. Those plans have gone awry! Travel is defined as going to the kitchen from the other end of the house.

What do we do when the journey seemingly gets so off course? First, maybe we should consider if it is truly off course, or if our plan was amiss. Maybe we are right where we should be for this season. We also need to decide how we are going to react to this change of course. You could consider if your pain serves a purpose; you may inspire someone you do not even know. Just because there are obstacles along the way, do not give up on your journey! Keep persevering and enjoying the things you can in the ways you can. Attitude dictates a great deal. Just because I cannot hike trails in Arches Park, I can still enjoy the beauty while riding in an RV. 

We enjoyed our RV journey so much, and found we can adapt it to work around the physical barriers. Guess what? We are now in the market for an RV. That sure was not in the plan! None of us knows what is around the next bend in our road. Do not put off until later the things you want to enjoy along your journey. Seize your opportunity!

Joy is a pharmacist in early retirement due to health problems. She is trying to live the best version of life and be willing to adapt to the continuing changes. She and her sweet husband, Doug, have two golden doodle furbabies. Oliver and Kenzi have recently discovered their love of going on RV trips! It’s become a family affair.

Life, Love and Endometriosis

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Beyond thrilled to share a post from my daughter-in-law, Rachel Elkins! This is a huge out-of-her-comfort-zone task, in total obedience to the voice of God. Be blessed as you read her story and feel free to share your own; this is how we fight our battles!

I’m 37 years old and this is my first time writing. I’ve read many encouraging words written by my mother-in-law over the years; my sister-in-law, Alicia, just joined our family last year and she also writes so beautifully.

As a young girl, I proudly watched my mom, who was a pastor’s wife, stand in front of rooms full of women and speak eloquent words. I’m privileged to witness my husband get up every week and lead thousands of people in worship at our church.

And I’ve quietly observed from the corner. I am the person that is terrified when someone approaches me because I don’t think I will have the right words to say.

So, why speak now?  What do I have to say now that is so important?  Maybe it is nothing. But it is 3:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep because these words are on my heart.

Yesterday, I had my third surgery in 12 years for Endometriosis. This will be my last surgery like this because I’ve been told that I will need a hysterectomy by the age of 40. Endometriosis is a very painful disease and thousands of women suffer with it. Like so many others, there have been countless days when I can barely get out of bed, times I’m in so much pain that I have to cancel plans, or even days I’m in tears as I dig out my baggiest clothes to cover my bloated stomach that seems to be twice its normal size.

For some reason, many women with this disease, or other diseases, deal with it in silence. Why?  For me, I have spent so many years feeling guilty to complain or maybe even felt that it was all in my head.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can go through sufferings in my life by myself or I can share with others in hope that somehow my words can encourage.

Isn’t that what God has called us to do?

I’ve actually had other sufferings in my life that I haven’t spoken very much about. I have experienced a lot of loss in my “short” life. I lost my dad when I was six years old from an accident at his workplace. I also lost my only brother, very unexpectedly, a few years ago. I realized that I could go through that without saying anything or I could use that hurt to minister to someone in the same situation. You would never understand that kind of loss unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

If you know me at all, you know that I have also struggled for 13 years with infertility.  Unless you were family or a close friend, you didn’t hear me talk about it until about a year before I got pregnant (Yes, I said pregnant!  We have a beautiful, smart, spunky little two year old girl.) I didn’t know at the time why, but I felt very strongly to share my testimony of God’s faithfulness even though He hadn’t given me a baby yet. My husband and I made a video and it was posted on our church’s Facebook page. (Go watch it! Or wait until you are finished with this article, but be sure and see it.) We spoke of the hurt, but also the love, that God had given us for each other through all of it. We were honest in saying that we trusted His plan for us, baby or not. Hard words to say out loud!  Little did I know that it would reach thousands of people and encourage so many women in the same situation.

After I had my daughter, I remember the moment God spoke to me and said that I needed to use my experience to help others. It took me about another year to be obedient, but my friend, who also dealt with infertility, and I have recently started an infertility support group at our church. Being very introverted, I could never imagine being able to do it, but God called and He helps me every time I have to speak!  I’m not saying it’s easy!  I’ve had to look at these women and say the words I hated to hear when I was in their situation; things such as, “God has a perfect plan for your life” and “It’s all in God’s timing”. But I can honestly say that because there are no truer words.

After losing my brother in January 2015, things were bad!  I was grieving hard and I had to watch my mom grieve once again and I was mad. My husband and I were having a hard time. We went and packed up my mom who lived in another state and moved her in with us so she could have some time to heal. A couple months later I took the first pregnancy test I had taken in about 10 years. Complete shock is an understatement when we saw the word positive!

God knew!  He knew the exact moment we would need our little miracle. She has healed our family in so many ways that I’ll never be able to explain.

Another topic that we seem to avoid is struggles in our marriages.  I have an amazing husband of 16 years and we have a pretty wonderful marriage. I love him more now than ever before, but there have been lows for sure!  Did I ever admit them to anyone else? Nope! Why?  Pride, that’s why.  Who wants to admit they are having a rough patch with their spouse?  No one does. But if I don’t admit vulnerability and imperfections, then how can I expect a newly wed couple to look at us and think they are ever going to make it if they think we are always perfect?

Romans 5:3-5 says it so well. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” 

Such beautiful words and such a timely message for today.

I know that there are far worse diseases than endometriosis and there are worse situations than not being able to get pregnant for 13 years. I also understand that most people experience loss at some point, but these are my experiences and I believe now more than ever before that God allows our trials so that we can use that pain to minister and lift up others that are hurting.

Maybe it is difficult for you, as it was for me, to put yourself “out there” and allow the world to see your insecurities and even your flaws. Can I challenge you to let God use those obstacles in your life to make you stronger and then use that strength and wisdom to bless someone else? Nothing is impossible with our God!

Rachel Elkins has been attached to Kyle for over 16 years and they were blessed 2 1/2 years ago with the miracle that is Norah Jayne. Rachel leads an infertility support group at her church, The Experience Community, where Kyle is the full-time Worship Pastor. She is the co-owner and event planner at Southern Graze, where she helps create fabulous spreads for any occasion. You can find her most days in the ‘Boro chasing butterflies, playing house or building castles in the sand with Princess Nor-Nor. 

 

 

 

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