Category Archives: Loving through Serving

Life, Love and Endometriosis

Beyond thrilled to share a post from my daughter-in-law, Rachel Elkins! This is a huge out-of-her-comfort-zone task, in total obedience to the voice of God. Be blessed as you read her story and feel free to share your own; this is how we fight our battles!

I’m 37 years old and this is my first time writing. I’ve read many encouraging words written by my mother-in-law over the years; my sister-in-law, Alicia, just joined our family last year and she also writes so beautifully.

As a young girl, I proudly watched my mom, who was a pastor’s wife, stand in front of rooms full of women and speak eloquent words. I’m privileged to witness my husband get up every week and lead thousands of people in worship at our church.

And I’ve quietly observed from the corner. I am the person that is terrified when someone approaches me because I don’t think I will have the right words to say.

So, why speak now? What do I have to say now that is so important? Maybe it is nothing. But it is 3:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep because these words are on my heart.

Yesterday, I had my third surgery in 12 years for Endometriosis. This will be my last surgery like this because I’ve been told that I will need a hysterectomy by the age of 40. Endometriosis is a very painful disease and thousands of women suffer with it. Like so many others, there have been countless days when I can barely get out of bed, times I’m in so much pain that I have to cancel plans, or even days I’m in tears as I dig out my baggiest clothes to cover my bloated stomach that seems to be twice its normal size.

For some reason, many women with this disease, or other diseases, deal with it in silence. Why? For me, I have spent so many years feeling guilty to complain or maybe even felt that it was all in my head. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can go through sufferings in my life by myself or I can share with others in hope that somehow my words can encourage.

Isn’t that what God has called us to do?

I’ve actually had other sufferings in my life that I haven’t spoken very much about. I have experienced a lot of loss in my “short” life. I lost my dad when I was six years old from an accident at his workplace. I also lost my only brother, very unexpectedly, a few years ago. I realized that I could go through that without saying anything or I could use that hurt to minister to someone in the same situation. You would never understand that kind of loss unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

If you know me at all, you know that I have also struggled for 13 years with infertility. Unless you were family or a close friend, you didn’t hear me talk about it until about a year before I got pregnant (Yes, I said pregnant! We have a beautiful, smart, spunky little two year old girl.) I didn’t know at the time why, but I felt very strongly to share my testimony of God’s faithfulness even though He hadn’t given me a baby yet. My husband and I made a video and it was posted on our church’s Facebook page. (Go watch it! Or wait until you are finished with this article, but be sure and see it.) We spoke of the hurt, but also the love, that God had given us for each other through all of it. We were honest in saying that we trusted His plan for us, baby or not. Hard words to say out loud! Little did I know that it would reach thousands of people and encourage so many women in the same situation.

After I had my daughter, I remember the moment God spoke to me and said that I needed to use my experience to help others. It took me about another year to be obedient, but my friend, who also dealt with infertility, and I have recently started an infertility support group at our church. Being very introverted, I could never imagine being able to do it, but God called and He helps me every time I have to speak! I’m not saying it’s easy! I’ve had to look at these women and say the words I hated to hear when I was in their situation; things such as, “God has a perfect plan for your life” and “It’s all in God’s timing”. But I can honestly say that because there are no truer words.

After losing my brother in January 2015, things were bad! I was grieving hard and I had to watch my mom grieve once again and I was mad. My husband and I were having a hard time. We went and packed up my mom who lived in another state and moved her in with us so she could have some time to heal. A couple months later I took the first pregnancy test I had taken in about 10 years. Complete shock is an understatement when we saw the word positive!

God knew! He knew the exact moment we would need our little miracle. She has healed our family in so many ways that I’ll never be able to explain.

Another topic that we seem to avoid is struggles in our marriages. I have an amazing husband of 16 years and we have a pretty wonderful marriage. I love him more now than ever before, but there have been lows for sure! Did I ever admit them to anyone else? Nope! Why? Pride, that’s why. Who wants to admit they are having a rough patch with their spouse? No one does. But if I don’t admit vulnerability and imperfections, then how can I expect a newly wed couple to look at us and think they are ever going to make it if they think we are always perfect?

Romans 5:3-5 says it so well. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

Such beautiful words and such a timely message for today.

I know that there are far worse diseases than endometriosis and there are worse situations than not being able to get pregnant for 13 years. I also understand that most people experience loss at some point, but these are my experiences and I believe now more than ever before that God allows our trials so that we can use that pain to minister and lift up others that are hurting.

Maybe it is difficult for you, as it was for me, to put yourself “out there” and allow the world to see your insecurities and even your flaws. Can I challenge you to let God use those obstacles in your life to make you stronger and then use that strength and wisdom to bless someone else? Nothing is impossible with our God!

Rachel Elkins has been attached to Kyle for over 16 years and they were blessed 2 1/2 years ago with the miracle that is Norah Jayne. Rachel leads an infertility support group at her church, The Experience Community, where Kyle is the full-time Worship Pastor. She is the co-owner and event planner at Southern Graze, where she helps create fabulous spreads for any occasion. You can find her most days in the ‘Boro chasing butterflies, playing house or building castles in the sand with Princess Nor-Nor.

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Are You A Wounded Healer?

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Are You A Wounded Healer? You may not even know there is a name for it; you are too busy doing what needs to be done. You have been wounded, hurt, maybe even abused. We are all wounded throughout our lives, physically, emotionally, psychologically; some of us have been hurt in more ways than we can remember.

A Wounded Healer is one who, although they have been wounded time and time again; they learn to take those experiences and use them to help others during their time of loss, tragedy, grief, and pain or illness. They realize that though they have suffered, they have also learned, and they can now benefit from that suffering.

Now they have become a Wounded Healer.

God isn’t causing the pain but He can use the pain to get your attention and help you grow and teach you compassion and grace. You learn how to minister to others in the middle of your own pain and it helps you heal!

I believe that is what the scripture means when it says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 NLT.

Several years ago some dear friends of ours lost their teenage son in a terrible car accident. He was transported to the hospital and not expected to make it through the night. Their cousins, who had lost their own son at the age of five, heard about the accident and rushed to the hospital to be with them. They were one of the very few who KNEW what that Mom and Dad were going to face in those critical hours ahead and they wanted to be there for them. Sure the hospital was full of people, but there were not many Wounded Healers close by and it was a blessing to have them when they faced the tragedy of losing their oldest son.

These special Angels of Mercy will probably not have a set of initials after their name, they won’t claim to know it all, and they won’t have all the answers. But they know how to listen, they know how to care, they show up with a casserole, a care package, they sit with you through the night if need be. Sometimes they say nothing at all. They’ve been there. They were wounded, they know. Silence is golden, a hug is better than words.

Jesus is a Wounded Healer. He experienced our wounds by coming in flesh so that He could feel what we feel. “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5. NKJV.

If you have damaged emotions and physical and emotional scars, Jesus is able to take care of those. He gave His life at Calvary and rose again so that we could have eternal life AND be healers on this earth. We cannot have open wounds and be a healer, we must have those taken care of and Jesus is the One who can heal our hurts so we can become the blessing God intended.

Maybe you have never thought you had anything to offer. My friend, I am certain you do. If the Lord has forgiven you and restored you, pray for opportunities to give others hope and a light at the end of their tunnel. Pray for wisdom above all, it is not an easy road to walk but there are great rewards.

Are there areas in your life where you have had opportunity to be a Wounded Healer? I would love to hear about them! Has someone else been a Wounded Healer to you? Feel free to share your thoughts and encourage others here today.

Barricades, blessings and benefits of The Missions Trip

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Today is a traveling day! We are heading back to Riga, Latvia for 3 1/2 weeks of teaching, training and reconnecting. Please pray for us and the work there, we are excited to see all of the new faces and witness what God is doing in Eastern Europe! (We have two days in Dublin, Ireland on our way over…say what?! Pray for our safety in these uncertain times.)

My original title was, The Mission Trip: It’s not just about sightseeing…and I could have made friends and enemies with my title alone! Some could mistake it for “Shame on you! Didn’t you DO anything on your mission trip besides sightseeing?!” Then those that know me better will realize I am wanting to paint a bigger picture…a much bigger picture.

So, what do I mean? What is the purpose of a mission trip?

The Sweetheart took his first missions trip overseas when he was 18. He traveled to South America where he visited Chile, Argentina and Brazil. He went with an independent pastor who took him to see things up close and personal that would forever change his life.

Witnessing things such as satanic worship in a cemetery…at night…and out of sight…he was introduced to another world, one that most of us only read about in National Geographic back in the 1970’s.

He visited church after church, meeting amazing people who love God and are doing their best to serve Him. Privileged to witness and invite others to come to know Jesus Christ, right on the street, and get a positive response, was overwhelming.

What else did he do?

He went sightseeing. Experiencing the wonder of Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil will forever be a highlight! He was privileged to bring back treasures such as a marble chess set from Chile and the ugliest sweater for me from Argentina that you have ever laid eyes on. I treasure it to this day! (I wish I had pictures to share but I am thousands of miles away from home and his “SLIDES”, yes, slides! For the younger generation, well, ask the older generation.)

Not to be outdone, when my oldest son, and his girlfriend-soon-to-be-fiancé-now-soon-to-be-wife-of-fifteen-years were both 18, they took a two week missions trip to Alaska. Alaska? Yes, Alaska. America needs Jesus!

Kyle and Rachel visited wonderful missionaries who travel distances we cannot fathom to minister to people, and met native Alaskans who are planting churches all over the 49^th, and largest, state in our great union.

Their group worked, they shared testimonies, sang, preached, whatever was asked or needed in those fourteen days, they were eager to serve.

Did I mention the sightseeing? Oh, my!

Not to be outdone, when our middle son, Kristopher was 17, he and his friend Christopher, (yes, two of them!) joined a group traveling to Bolivia. Again, they were able to meet people and see things that forever changed them. They worked, hard! They preached, sang, shared on the streets and they LOVED…hard.

They also came back with the most hideous, handmade, woven pants you can never UN-see. I bet he had half a dozen pair in different colors and patterns! (Just being goofy here, thankfully they didn’t go witnessing dressed like that!)

Obviously a mission trip brings out the worst in taste. Unfortunately, I cannot recall a decent treasure that was brought back from this trip but the Sweetheart remembers well a beautiful leather briefcase that Kristopher had bought for him. He carried it for many years.

And…they went sightseeing…

Dangerous sights…

Amazing sights…

If you follow my blog, you are aware that I call my boys My Three Sons, so you are expecting me to share The Baby’s mission trip. I will not disappoint you! Korey and Kristopher journeyed to Scotland and Ireland for six long weeks of a personal mission trip…funded by Korey and Kristopher. They spent their own money but were blessed to stay in accommodations with the missionaries there in exchange for hard labor (smile).

They loved every minute of it.

(Okay, almost every minute. Korey is a little dramatic after helping to update the landscaping at the Bible School here. He is a musician, after all, not a gardener!)

And when in Rome…or in Glascow…well, doesn’t everyone try on a kilt? Kristopher does.

They also were at St. Andrews before and during the British Open!

(Korey slept during the tournament. Seriously. He did.)

They took pictures, and liberties, that would probably have gotten them in trouble had anyone been watching.

It was an amazing trip.

Korey then joined us in Riga, Latvia for six full months of ministry. He brought his guitar and sang his heart out, along with several other wonderful young people, helping to start churches in a very difficult region of the world. He met people he would never have gotten a chance to become acquainted with otherwise, people that have impacted his life.

Did Korey get to sight-see? Yes and no. His six months were more work than play. He did see most of Riga, Latvia, the capital of the Baltics. We took him to Tallinn, Estonia to see one of the most beautiful Old Town’s still in existence.

What was his most exciting sightseeing adventure? He was asked to conduct a music seminar in St. Petersburg, Russia for about five days, accommodations in the church with our beloved Missionary, Reverend William Turner. What a privilege! Yes, he was blessed to see a part of the world most will never see and make friendships with beautiful people.

These are examples. Examples I used because I know their stories, I can talk about them, share them freely.

But, what about the career missionaries? They are overseas for long, long periods of time, there cannot be that much to do, right? Isn’t it just one big, long vacation?

First of all, do not misunderstand and think I am touting the adventures of my family. We were not career missionaries. We were Associates in Missions, or what our organization calls AIM workers. Sort of part-time missionaries in some cases, and in others, self-sponsored, or church sponsored, missionaries who are going to fill a need. They may not have felt a calling, per se, to a certain country, but they want to do something. They see that people are needed, and they are available, willing and ready to go. Sometimes that is a precursor to a career missionary. You have to start somewhere and put your time in before you are promoted to a long term overseas assignment.

Yet, many AIM workers and associate missionaries sell everything they have too! Some, like us, could not have raised the money necessary to spend more than a year in Europe without selling our home, and most of our possessions. We do not regret it, even though we are not overseas full time. Many associate missionaries REMAIN under that status for different reasons. In many ways it is more difficult for them to raise funds and to stay funded. My hat is off in humble admiration to these sacrificial workers in the Kingdom.

Now, we personally go when we see a need, when we can raise the money to do so, and the rest of our time is spent traveling for Revival By Design. (Thank you to all who give so we can go!)

Career missionaries have much more red tape to cut through before they are on location. It can take many months, or even years, to raise the support needed to stay on location.

Naturally, it is different in every organization.

I have read many books down through the years of missionaries blazing the trail. Of those working in the jungles of Africa, walking mile after mile, facing danger, literally, around every corner. I remember stories of other Godly souls who were able to be a part of seeing thousands saved in one tent crusade! They didn’t have email, cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Viber, Face Time, or Skype. They had snail mail and some were fortunate to have telephone communication…for about three minutes due to the expense…or the connection!

They definitely had things more difficult in many natural ways than missionaries do today, but they share many similarities that have NOT changed over the years.

Selling out.
Saying, “Goodbye’s” to loved ones…again and again.
Being homesick for their families.
Severe financial hardship. (Just because you are doing it for Jesus doesn’t mean you will be wealthy!)
And the most difficult of all…attacks from the enemy.

But I hear no complaints. I am sure there are some, even missionaries are human, but it is temporary. It may come from frustration, broken promises, and exhaustion.

What they DO experience, and I am sure 95% of them will agree, outweighs the struggle that accompanies the life of a missionary.

They witness lives changed, hearts broken and mended again, miracles, healings, signs and wonders!

They build churches in cities and countries where there has never been a church that taught Truth.

They light the way and bring the Gospel to the four corners of the world attempting to fulfill the scripture, “Go ye, into all the world, and preach the Gospel to every creature.” Mark 16:15.

And this one, “And this gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in all the world for a witness unto all nations; and then shall the end come.” Matthew 24:14.

And some never truly witness the fruit of their labor but maybe one that comes behind them does. Some sow, some water, others reap. All according to God’s perfect timing.

The short-term mission trip whets the appetite of the young and the old. Some will go back, they will commit and “Go ye…” Others that have been privileged to go for a short time will not go back on a permanent basis but the experience will live on in their hearts and they, in turn, give in another way…they financially support those that literally go! It’s in their heart; they’ve been there, witnessed things that impacted them, now they want to help.

They never forget.

So, do missionaries sight-see? Yes, they do, they should! Of course it isn’t JUST about the things they see and the places they get to go…if they are going for that benefit only, they won’t last. God will not bless it. But missionaries that sacrifice for the call…they enjoy the countries God has sent them to love and labor in. Another long-time missionary mentioned that it is often even a spiritual experience as they learn more about their country, the history, the people that call it home…it helps them so much to connect!

They take pictures and post them on social media so YOU can be blessed to see places that your feet may never wander through. You have helped them get there; they want to share it with you! (There are times and situations where missionaries MAY NOT post very many pictures, if any, of their congregation, house church, or people they are working with for privacy reasons.)

The associate missionary, no matter how long they are on location, are a blessing to the missionary that lives in the country all of the time. They bring refreshing, strength, fellowship and maybe even Oreo’s and Ziploc bags from the States!

Missionaries go to places we can only dream about, but they give way more than we will ever realize and sacrifice more than some of us would be willing to.

Be blessed to see pictures of them feeding children in Africa, putting shoes on kids in Haiti, singing on the streets in Europe and preaching to thousands in South America!

Then pray.

Pray for those that have, and will, answer the call to GO. Pray that they will be able to raise the funds necessary, that it will not be a financial burden on them for years to come, and that their hearts will not become weary with THE WAIT.

For those already on the field? They need your prayers even more!

Pray for those that have gone; that God would have His way in their lives. That they would hear HIS voice and know the direction He would have them to take.

Pray for strength for each new day, peace in every situation and for favor with their city, village or country.

Pray that the emptiness in their heart would be replaced by the love of God and a love for the people in their new homeland.

Don’t begrudge them a little enjoyment in the country within which they labor. Love them, support them with your prayers and bless them financially when you can.

We would appreciate your prayers today for my health as well. I am not one to post on social media all of my ills but I have a severe case of bronchitis, so much so that my doctor didn’t want me to leave today. Please pray for healing and strength, if you have had bronchitis you know the I’ve-been-hit-by-a-truck fatigue and the incessant coughing. Pray my cough doesn’t get me kicked off the plane, yikes! Bind together with me in prayer and let us see what God will do!

Category Archives: Loving through Serving

Are You A Wounded Healer?

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