Category Archives: Norah Jayne

Life, Love and Endometriosis

Beyond thrilled to share a post from my daughter-in-law, Rachel Elkins! This is a huge out-of-her-comfort-zone task, in total obedience to the voice of God. Be blessed as you read her story and feel free to share your own; this is how we fight our battles!

I’m 37 years old and this is my first time writing. I’ve read many encouraging words written by my mother-in-law over the years; my sister-in-law, Alicia, just joined our family last year and she also writes so beautifully.

As a young girl, I proudly watched my mom, who was a pastor’s wife, stand in front of rooms full of women and speak eloquent words. I’m privileged to witness my husband get up every week and lead thousands of people in worship at our church.

And I’ve quietly observed from the corner. I am the person that is terrified when someone approaches me because I don’t think I will have the right words to say.

So, why speak now?  What do I have to say now that is so important?  Maybe it is nothing. But it is 3:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep because these words are on my heart.

Yesterday, I had my third surgery in 12 years for Endometriosis. This will be my last surgery like this because I’ve been told that I will need a hysterectomy by the age of 40. Endometriosis is a very painful disease and thousands of women suffer with it. Like so many others, there have been countless days when I can barely get out of bed, times I’m in so much pain that I have to cancel plans, or even days I’m in tears as I dig out my baggiest clothes to cover my bloated stomach that seems to be twice its normal size.

For some reason, many women with this disease, or other diseases, deal with it in silence. Why?  For me, I have spent so many years feeling guilty to complain or maybe even felt that it was all in my head.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can go through sufferings in my life by myself or I can share with others in hope that somehow my words can encourage.

Isn’t that what God has called us to do?

I’ve actually had other sufferings in my life that I haven’t spoken very much about. I have experienced a lot of loss in my “short” life. I lost my dad when I was six years old from an accident at his workplace. I also lost my only brother, very unexpectedly, a few years ago. I realized that I could go through that without saying anything or I could use that hurt to minister to someone in the same situation. You would never understand that kind of loss unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

If you know me at all, you know that I have also struggled for 13 years with infertility.  Unless you were family or a close friend, you didn’t hear me talk about it until about a year before I got pregnant (Yes, I said pregnant!  We have a beautiful, smart, spunky little two year old girl.) I didn’t know at the time why, but I felt very strongly to share my testimony of God’s faithfulness even though He hadn’t given me a baby yet. My husband and I made a video and it was posted on our church’s Facebook page. (Go watch it! Or wait until you are finished with this article, but be sure and see it.) We spoke of the hurt, but also the love, that God had given us for each other through all of it. We were honest in saying that we trusted His plan for us, baby or not. Hard words to say out loud!  Little did I know that it would reach thousands of people and encourage so many women in the same situation.

After I had my daughter, I remember the moment God spoke to me and said that I needed to use my experience to help others. It took me about another year to be obedient, but my friend, who also dealt with infertility, and I have recently started an infertility support group at our church. Being very introverted, I could never imagine being able to do it, but God called and He helps me every time I have to speak!  I’m not saying it’s easy!  I’ve had to look at these women and say the words I hated to hear when I was in their situation; things such as, “God has a perfect plan for your life” and “It’s all in God’s timing”. But I can honestly say that because there are no truer words.

After losing my brother in January 2015, things were bad!  I was grieving hard and I had to watch my mom grieve once again and I was mad. My husband and I were having a hard time. We went and packed up my mom who lived in another state and moved her in with us so she could have some time to heal. A couple months later I took the first pregnancy test I had taken in about 10 years. Complete shock is an understatement when we saw the word positive!

God knew!  He knew the exact moment we would need our little miracle. She has healed our family in so many ways that I’ll never be able to explain.

Another topic that we seem to avoid is struggles in our marriages.  I have an amazing husband of 16 years and we have a pretty wonderful marriage. I love him more now than ever before, but there have been lows for sure!  Did I ever admit them to anyone else? Nope! Why?  Pride, that’s why.  Who wants to admit they are having a rough patch with their spouse?  No one does. But if I don’t admit vulnerability and imperfections, then how can I expect a newly wed couple to look at us and think they are ever going to make it if they think we are always perfect?

Romans 5:3-5 says it so well. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” 

Such beautiful words and such a timely message for today.

I know that there are far worse diseases than endometriosis and there are worse situations than not being able to get pregnant for 13 years. I also understand that most people experience loss at some point, but these are my experiences and I believe now more than ever before that God allows our trials so that we can use that pain to minister and lift up others that are hurting.

Maybe it is difficult for you, as it was for me, to put yourself “out there” and allow the world to see your insecurities and even your flaws. Can I challenge you to let God use those obstacles in your life to make you stronger and then use that strength and wisdom to bless someone else? Nothing is impossible with our God!

Rachel Elkins has been attached to Kyle for over 16 years and they were blessed 2 1/2 years ago with the miracle that is Norah Jayne. Rachel leads an infertility support group at her church, The Experience Community, where Kyle is the full-time Worship Pastor. She is the co-owner and event planner at Southern Graze, where she helps create fabulous spreads for any occasion. You can find her most days in the ‘Boro chasing butterflies, playing house or building castles in the sand with Princess Nor-Nor. 

 

 

 

Sharing with Fresh Market Friday Friendship Friday

The shop class tool box: Happy Father’s Day, Dad!

I’m sure you have all received them if you have been a parent for any length of time. When they are just old enough to go to Sunday School or even in daycare, one of the first things your little one makes for you is their hand print. Many of you have a picture of that in your head right now and could go to a box or a plastic storage tub and pull out Johnny or Susie’s classic piece of art.

They graduated over the years to nicer items such as clay ash trays, wooden tie and belt holders, maybe a pencil holder or a shelf. Homemade gifts from your children, it truly doesn’t get any better than that!

I remember, in particular, one of My Three Sons brought home his first attempt at wood crafts. (For this post, the crafter shall remain nameless. We will let them decide if they want to take ownership or not.) The fact that he was even taking a class of this sort must have been a requirement; he was not one to sit around thinking of things he could make with his hands.

Whether this was a Father’s Day gift or not I do not recall but I do remember him bringing it home and having that dejected look of “This is the best I can do”, when in reality it was sturdy, heavy and not too crooked at all! It had been stained super dark and he had made it with his own hands.

Now, to wrap it for Father’s Day.

The Sweetheart has received tons of gifts over the last 42 years of marriage and 40 of being a father. Some he still has, like the toolbox, others didn’t make it into a storage tub for one of our many moves. He learned from the time they were old enough to stand there with their arms outstretched, presenting their gift, that it was the biggest deal in the world to them and he had better act like it was to him, too.

And it was.

That toolbox was filled immediately and to this day it still has hammers, screwdrivers, nails and other important go-to’s for any household. It served a purpose then and even now, years later.

This Father’s Day, it is a sturdy and strong reminder of us bringing our gifts to our Good, Good Father, Jesus Christ.

Sometimes our gift giving, our prayer time, turns into our give me time. Did you know that the Hebrew word for prayer, tefillah, means to self-evaulate? To the Jewish people, prayer was not a time to just ask God for things, they truly examined themselves! This meant admitting their actions, behaviors and attitudes and comparing them with their holy God. Standing in His presence will cause you to look at your heart!

To us, as 21st century Christians, the word pray means to ask or maybe even plead. We lay out a list of things we need or want God to do and then start begging Him to reply. But what if we evaluated our hearts first? What if we checked our motives first? What if we prayed, “Not my will but thine be done” and just offered our toolbox, our lives, as a living sacrifice?

Do you bring Him praise, adoration, worship and glory with your prayers or are they all filled with “I need, I want and please hurry!” He hears you regardless of how you pray, or what you say, but He is most pleased when it is a sacrificial giving of the heart. When you understand that all things are in His control anyway and that surrender is the ultimate act of worship, you then acknowledge that He alone is able and He alone is worthy and your giving takes on an entirely different meaning…and approach.

Imagine yourself bringing your tool box to your heavenly Father. It’s a part of you, a difficult part, but you want to give it back to Him as a gift of surrender and humility. It’s sort of like this, “Lord, this is just for You, I’m giving you all of my difficult attitudes, all of my heartaches, confusion, misunderstandings. Could you help me with these things and fill up that toolbox with more of You so that I might take those tools and be a representative of You to a lost, dying and hurting world?”

He will do that. He will take the broken and make it whole, pliable and workable in the Kingdom. Giving gifts to your good, good Father, yielding in total surrender and then taking what He gives you as tools to help others…that completes that perfect circle. He’s good like that.

This Father’s Day, don’t forget to tell that influential man in your life what he means to you. Love on those that you value so much and don’t forget to reach out to others who might not hear the words, “I appreciate you.”

Happy Father’s Day to The Sweetheart, such a rock to me for over 40 years. I love you and thank you for being such a good, good father to My Three Sons, for loving our daughters-in-law and adoring our precious grandbabies and spoiling ME and providing for us all so well.

Happy Father’s Day!!

Batman…Leaving the Batcave one last time

Batman…Leaving the Batcave one last time

“Robin: Where’d you get a live fish, Batman?”

Batman: “The true crimefighter always carries everything he needs in his utility belt, Robin.”

Batman...Leaving the Batcave one last timeThe Batman character has certainly changed over the years. The series, and characters, that are on our minds this weekend, with the sad passing of Adam West, ran only three seasons beginning January 12, 1966, to March 14, 1968. Needless to say, my first remembrances of this classic were as a very young child myself. I can remember my two brothers running through the house shouting, “POW!” “Wham!” “ZOK!” (Yes, that was one, too!) “Splat!” and on and on they would go chasing each other through our small home. I was rather annoyed by the whole thing, and didn’t take much interest in the show unless Batgirl was on.

Her name also just happened to be Yvonne Craig, my first name as well, so, of course we had everything in common. (insert sarcasm here) If she was in an episode, I might sit down and watch it or sneak through the kitchen to get glimpses, not actually admitting I was interested in a boys crime-fighting show, naturally.

Fast forward a few years and I had a little blonde-haired, blue eyed boy of my own. He was fascinated with superheroes at a very young age. Super Friends was all the rage, bringing back old, beloved comic characters, all in one place. And, as luck would have it, Batman and Robin reruns were everywhere.

Even better? There were GUYS.

This iconic word served as a generic title for every super hero from Superman to GI Joe; our house was full of guys. You stepped on them, found them in precarious poses in your Lazy Susan, scooped them out of the bathtub, found them perched on window sills, where they had just scaled the wall to get in and save the world. Seriously, they took over my house. And this was still with just ONE little boy. The other two little tow-heads had not arrived yet!

Needless to say, whether by my own encouragement or not, we were Batman and Robin fans again. I have played the role of Lex Luthor, Robin, AquaMan, Wonder Woman, The Joker, and even Superman. But I do not recall EVER getting to be Batman. Only Kyle’s best friend and first cousin, Jeremy, was allowed to be Batman. And the only reason Kyle would succumb to that was because Jeremy had the costume.

Check out the backside picture. It’s just too much! The little guy, Michael was our good friend and neighbor who was also spending the night. He didn’t get the memo about the official pajamas but any good Mom can improvise and instantly add another super hero!

Robin: “You can’t get away from Batman that easy!”

Batman: “Easily.”

Robin: “Easily.”

Batman: “Good grammar is essential, Robin.”

Robin: “Thank you.”

Batman: “You’re welcome.”

Living in Indianapolis in 1986, the Dynamic Duo were appearing at a Comic Book Collector’s Convention. They had the Batmobile on display and the famous actors would be signing autographs.

We were in!

For two little five and six year old boys, meeting a real-live superhero was over-the-top in every way. We stood dutifully in line and Kyle and Jeremy were a tad bit nervous about shaking the hand of the two heroes who could put the Penguin on ice!

The closer they got, Jeremy became a little intimidated and wasn’t so keen on getting too close but he persevered. Meeting them in real life was kind of creepy and you had the foreboding that the Riddler would come leaping in with his hideous laugh and have us all tied up in question marks.

Jeremy getting his autograph!

Speeding forward in our Time Machine once more, Kyle called me yesterday morning. He is normally a texter so I figured something was up, hoping he needed a babysitter or wanted to chat about the awesome Worship Night on the Square that had just wrapped up a few hours before.

No. The conversation went something like this:

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“Batman died.”

It was the end of an era, and hearing about the death of a super hero who was such a big part of your growing up years brings back so many memories, hopefully all good.

We reminisced a few minutes about characters and a few funny things but I hung up grateful that we had that in common. That he remembered if anyone would care that a piece of his childhood was no longer with us…it would be Mom.

It wasn’t long before I received a text from my youngest with a meme of the death of Adam West. Before the end of the day, they had all joined in the conversation and probably wondering where their Batman and Robin figures were stashed. (Don’t tell them, but I could put my hands on a few in just a couple of minutes).

Now, My Three Sons do not live in the past, they just have great childhood memories (most of them were great) and they love nostalgia. They might not look anything like their mother but they acquired my love for all-things-childhood.

And, true to their nature, Kyle and Jeremy are continuing their love for the Caped Crusader with their wee ones, Mister Miller and Norah Jayne. Miller’s nursery is all super heroes, and adorable! He started out early with Batman attire:

And then there is Batgirl, Norah Jayne gets in on the action at an early age too!

Do we have a take-away from the death of an actor, a character that brought a lot of happiness to many children (and adults) in his cape and ballerina tights? I think so.

Everyone is looking for a super hero. We all want to think there is some super power out there that can come and save the day, get us out of our messes and deliver us from our mistakes. Whether he comes in a Batmobile, or flying through the air faster than a speeding bullet, we want someone to step on the scene and bring instant calm to our chaos.

Unfortunately, Batman isn’t real, nor Superman, Spiderman or any of our comic book character icons. They make for great entertainment but that is where it ends.

But since this is a Christian blog, let me end this with some hope.

We DO have a super hero, friends. There is only One that can really walk through a wall and only One who can walk on water, or give the command for another to do so! 

This Super Hero of our every day, every moment existence, LIVES to bring deliverance to our universe. He literally gave His own life, willingly, that we could also live an overcoming life and have eternal hope that we will live forever in a glorious place with the Savior of the World.

He will come running to you in an instant when you speak His name.

He will go to the depths to lift you up and carry you higher.

He can heal all of your diseases or give you strength to go through any trial.

He will give you wisdom for every situation and words to go in your mouth in a moments notice.

He will surround you with His presence, bringing instant peace to your circumstance.

There is absolutely nothing that He cannot do, or will do, for you, His child. 

He put that cape on a long, long time ago. And He is patiently waiting for the day that YOU join Him and bring completion to His perfect work.

Remember today, Batman couldn’t save the world, and he can’t come back once death has claimed him. But Jesus did both and left us with the hope that we can overcome as He did, if we know Him.

As we see the world around us crumbling, we remember His Word to lift up our eyes! Look up!

Our redemption is drawing near.

For the kingdom

One last tribute to Adam West. Same bat time, same bat channel!