There are those times in your life that you just want to crawl under the table and hide. But when there is a party of six that just isn’t possible. And when that party of six is in a nice restaurant it would be a bit embarrassing.

That’s how it was for our family a few years ago while we were dining out one evening.

It was St. Patrick’s Day and the restaurant was lively with people celebrating and enjoying the holiday.

Fortunately we didn’t have to wait long for our name to be called. We were enjoying our appetizers and the ambiance of the eatery. If My Three Sons are all together it is just as entertaining as any movie, concert or theater performance anywhere. So we certainly were not bored.

Now my husband, The Sweetheart, loves gravy, sauces, jellies, and dressings of all kinds, especially ketchup. But he doesn’t always put them on the normal things they belong on. You know, for example, French fries go with ketchup; chicken wings go with bbq sauce, everything goes with ranch…and he loves grape jelly on biscuits and gravy…ugh!

And his favorite, whenever he gets a chance, is malt vinegar! He knows I hate it and that makes him love it that much more! If he has the opportunity to be in a nice establishment and they have fish and chips on the menu then he is going to be asking the server for malt vinegar before he places his order. 

So it was a very happy St. Paddy’s day for the Sweetheart as they brought his fish and chips to the table. All of the rest of us were served and “Grace” was said and it was time to dig in.

He grabs the ketchup, and because we are a little crowded and he is sitting on the end, puts it underneath the booth and starts shaking it before he puts it on his fries. But The Sweetheart is no ordinary “shaker”. He is a grab-it-by-the-neck-and-shake-it-for-all-it’s-worth-shaker. Why? We have no idea why!

But what he forgot to check was the security of the lid on old Mr. Heinz and seconds into his infamous shake, ketchup was flying all over the restaurant and the party-goers! We must be eternally grateful this time that he went under the table instead of above!

Now you must take in the whole scene: The six of us are in a half circle booth and we are close to the “bar” area, similar to any Chili’s, Applebee’s or TGI Friday’s. And since it is St. Patrick’s day, it is standing-room-only in the bar. The Sweetheart has just sprayed the entire area with ketchup, but they do not realize it! Not only are we now covered underneath the table, but all of the ladies in their short dresses and guys in their nice jeans are now sporting unwelcome red polka dots!

Our server must have seen some of the hoopla on his many trips back and forth and comes out of the kitchen and with a wet towel in his hand, a sly grin on his face, and wipes down the wall as he walks past us, without ever stopping or missing a beat. He begins to wear a pattern in the carpet as he repeats this several times the rest of the evening.

Trust me, half a bottle of Heinz isn’t cleaned up easily.

Thankfully we had a wonderful server with a great sense of humor and plenty of wet towels.

I have no idea if the meal was worth reporting about in Trip Advisor. Most of the evening was spent in fear of the rest of the crowd discovering where the splats of tomato paste had come from that they were now wearing on their St. Paddy’s Day green.

This was our first visit.

And our last.