We Don’t Do The Church Thing…

We don’t do the Church Thing…This little post of less than 1,000 words, hit home with so many people. It was the closest to “viral” we will probably get! (smile) And most importantly, a few lives were changed. Some went back to church, some renewed their relationship with Almighty God. I pray you will be blessed and feel free to share. You never know what it might do!

It was one of those conversations that you could have any day of the week.

You could be in the grocery store, doctor’s office, on the playground, it doesn’t really matter. You’ve just met a stranger, easy to talk to, you start with small talk about your families.

I had one of those. It was life-changing.

She was a sweetheart. A mother of two, she worked five days a week, came home, cooked dinner and helped with homework. Then spent the rest of the evening doing the usual chores; baths, packing lunches, laundry, normal things we all do, day in, day out.

She talked about how blessed her children were to have such a wonderful school to attend. They still said the Pledge of Allegiance…she stressed the real Pledge of Allegiance with “under God”. They were even still allowed to attend a weekly, church-sanctioned, afternoon Bible class. Yes, this is a public school. She went on and on about how safe they felt there, how her parents lived just up the road; life just couldn’t be much better.

Then, I guess I unintentionally backed her in a corner when I said something about church. With everything she had just described about her life I just assumed she attended.

She said, “Oh, we have Bibles in our house, but we don’t do the church thing.”

And before I had a chance to say anything, she stumbled, mumbled, and said, “Well, we are just busy on the weekends and all…” and with that she found an excuse to make a quick exit.

Now, before you fill my comment box up with “We don’t have to go to church to feel God…”, you are correct, we sure don’t. I will get to that in a moment. Bear with me here, I was actually more saddened by the “We have Bibles IN our house….” because I could tell by the way she said it that those Bibles probably didn’t get read any more than the children were getting taken to Sunday School.

It was wonderful that she was so happy that her children were in a good school that paid honor to God, and in a good community that still allowed God in the schools, a rarity in our country. But for all of her commendations to her school and her community, she had left the King of Kings out of her home. The Bibles were there but they weren’t being used.

That may be true of many church-going Christians and that is a dangerous place to be. The Word truly is a “lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path.” Without it, we stumble and fall and blindly lose our way.

I may be taking a few liberties here since I do not personally know this stranger but “We don’t do the church thing” is speaking a mouthful to me.

  • Has she been hurt somewhere before?
  • Disillusioned?
  • Lost her faith along the way?
  • Can’t bring herself to trust in leadership?
  • Or is it laziness?
  • The American “sleep-in-on-Sunday” culture, or the attitude that says, “I’ll do it my way, I don’t need the church.”

Because, my friend, we DO need the Body of Christ, we need the community and the unity that comes from the assembling of ourselves together. (Hebrews 10:25)

We must hear the preaching of the Word of God! “How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?”

And in answer to those that have been hurt, abused, lied to, and misled in a church house somewhere on this planet, as a former pastor’s wife, my sincerest apologies. That should never be in the House of God.

But Jesus did not do it, people did.

People are just people and unfortunately they are still people in the church too. You will find the complainers, the naysayers, the gossipers, backbiters, liars, chew-you-up-and-spit-you-out-haters. I’ve seen them all and still had to hug their neck the next Sunday! And let us not forget the good ole hypocrites. Yes, they are there too. Where else would they be but in church?!

It would be a terrible shame to let people keep you from coming  face to face with Jesus of Nazareth.

Don’t let a few busybodies keep you from your worship of the King.

(If you are one that has offended people, hurt them, caused them to leave the church, there is no excuse for this type of behavior in the church. God is not pleased. But He does forgive! Seek that forgiveness with sincere repentance today.)

There are plenty of great churches that preach Truth. Go find one!

It’s worth it to be able to stand up in service with tears streaming down your face, hands raised in worship and actually feel the presence of Almighty God as you offer Him praise, just because He is worthy.

My friend, one day we will all stand before Him. It does not matter who you are, or your social status.

You will be there.

You won’t be late. We will all be there.

We will call Him Lord then, we will all call Him by Name.

For some, He will return the favor.

Others He will say, “Depart from me, I never knew you…”

I wonder if some will be the ones that had Bibles in their homes but didn’t DO the CHURCH THING?

For the Kingdom



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77 thoughts on “We Don’t Do The Church Thing…

  1. Pingback: "The Church Thing" and "Joyful Wife" Living Proverbs 31 - A Proverbs 31 Wife

  2. Nan

    Thank you for writing about how important it is to fellowship with the Body of Christ. The Bible says how important fellowship is, and we are to use our God-given gifts to build up the body.

    I often find that people who say they don’t do the church thing don’t do ANYthing of a spiritual nature. So their “you don’t have to go to church to connect with God” doesn’t really hold up when they aren’t trying to connect at all. When you’re connecting with God, you will want to connect with others who are connecting with God.

    I am a pastor’s wife and we will often have people who come who are carrying baggage and hurts with them (as you said, it’s from PEOPLE and people aren’t perfect). Some will heal and stay and are a blessing to know!

    Others will often hang around awhile but then they will sometimes leave, and their reasons for leaving are not what I would call a good reason to leave.

    One couple said they were leaving because they weren’t connecting with people. I knew for a fact that we had invited them over to our house (along with some other couples) four different times, and they said no every time. They were also invited over to other people’s houses and they said no to that too. They also left soon after the service so no one could really chat with them. All the people reaching out to them were not enough, they had to reach back. And they wouldn’t.

    Another couple left because they were out of town and no one called while they were gone to see why they missed church. Except they forgot that they had told me and some others that they would be out of town the next weekend, lol! Things were going well and they had no prior complaints, and that was the reason they gave for leaving..

    I think some people fear getting too close, getting too involved. It’s easier to go from church to church and disappear. Where no one knows you, and no one has any expectations of you. I also think it’s very lonely that way. And I think that some people just get into bad habits of not attending church.

    Some people attend faithfully while their children were little, and then stop going once their children are grown. But what kind of example are you setting for your adult children? (Not to mention you need to be fed).

    Many people work through “the church thing” and find their way back to the church and to the Lord and learn to bless others with their God given gifts and talents, and it’s a joy to see them grow!

    Sorry, I have hijacked your comment section, lol! Have a great day! 🙂

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      You have said a mouthful…and it’s all good! Thank you! I was a pastor’s wife too and heard every reason there could possibly be for leaving. Many of them were downright silly. Those that are attending don’t know how good they have it, we all need the Body, whether we think so or not. Blessings for your thoughts!

  3. debbie

    I needed this, thank you. I am guilty as charged and need your prayers.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Me too Debbie…blessings to you today. I will join you in prayer friend!

  4. Cynthia Stower

    What a great post, my friend, I read through some of the comments and they only proved you right. Keep on doing what you are doing, you are reaching folks that cannot be reached in traditional ways. Love and hugs, Cindy

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Hey Cindy! Good to hear from you. Blessings to you friend. ♥

  5. Cindy

    Beautifully written Nannette! Sharing this feature at Amaze Me Monday so hop back over…

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Thank you so much for sharing Cindy. God has used that post in marvelous ways! God bless you!

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  7. Titus2Homemaker

    I have found that geography makes a real difference. Where we lived before moving here, there WAS NO church to attend that I would say merited the name. (And I promise you, I do not take that lightly. We are talking about serious issues like pastors who are living lifestyles of lying to their congregations…that were common in the area. The norm wasn’t quite THAT bad, but it didn’t involve cracking a Bible in the pulpit.) We have not had that experience before or since, where none of the available options was even tolerable, but it was the case there. I only say that to point out that when you’re dealing with someone long-distance (in your own area is obviously a bit different!) you really do not know their situation and whether there is a Truth-preaching church around them.

    The New Testament does say that we shouldn’t forsake assembling with other believers, but it doesn’t specify HOW that has to happen. DINNER with other believers, where the conversation revolves around the things of God is an assembly of believers. (Some of these times have been much more edifying and/or instructive for me than some of our “real church” times!)

    I think there is a whole spectrum, both in and out of the “organized church.” There are those who “do the church thing” and it’s a vibrant part of their lives. And there are those who “do the church thing,” but they almost might as well not because they only do it to “check a box.”

    But outside of the organized church, we have the same thing. There are those who just don’t bother. There are those who are looking for something more structured, haven’t found it yet, and are making do in the meantime. And there are those who are actively working to have a vibrant Christian life, and to gather with other believers, but just aren’t doing it the way it’s usually done in our culture. (George Barna’s book, Revolution, is eye-opening on this subject!)

  8. Jen @ Richfaithrising

    Wow! First, I wanted to say THANK YOU so much for posting this at Rich Faith Rising today! What a great topic that stirs emotion in all of us (one way or another). I love how you spoke truth from scripture. I used to think that I didn’t need church, or others for a season of time also…but when crisis happened, I realized the value and gift a church family can be. The enemy loves to create offense in us, He also loves to divide and isolate us from God and other people! Praying for the church as a whole as I read this friend! Blessings, Jen

  9. Holly Barrett

    It’s so hard when you feel the hurt and disappointment of being let down by God’s people. It’s one thing to know that people make mistakes (just like I do) and it’s another to be able to accept the pain that comes along with those mistakes sometimes. Especially from people we feel like “ought to know better.” The truth is that without God we are all just hurt people…who hurt people. It’s only through the forgiveness that we receive that we are able to forgive others and move on. I pray that we can be used to give hope and encourage healing and forgiveness with those who have given up on the church.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      So very true! We are all hurt people, who sometimes HURT people… 🙁 Thankful for forgiveness and the nudge that comes from God to keep forgiving. Blessings!

  10. joepote01

    Sadly, many people have been deeply wounded by a local church body. So many churches (and Christians) do a remarkably poor job of ministering to those who are most in need…the single parents…the abused spouses…the blended families…special needs…

    Sometimes, people need a time of learning to lean on Christ alone, to truly find their identity in only Him, before they can be strong enough to face the potential scorn or rejection from a local church.

    I’m learning to encourage people to a closer walk with Christ rather than ‘pushing’ them to join a local church. Then trust the Holy Spirit to lead them to an appropriate fellowship with other believers…

    Thanks, and God Bless!

  11. F. Dean Hackett

    What an excellent post! I am so glad I stopped by to read this. It is so true – as a pastor for more than 40 years, I have watched this scenario play out badly many times. Parents believe that a religious education will help protect their children from evil, and are surprised later one when they realize that their children have a lot of knowledge but no tools to apply that knowledge. Parents need to do the educating and home, and the follow it up with their example of living a godly life…back their words up with actions. Thank you for addressing this very important issue

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Well said Sir! We pastored as well for several years and have seen the same thing. Thank you for coming by and sharing your thoughts!

  12. marty

    Thank you for this. I have a bunch of words all tripping over themselves in response but I will leave it at thank you. May others read this and be blessed and encouraged to continue steadfast in their love for their church and may it strengthen and bless the Church.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Thank you Linda, and thanks for stopping by.

  13. Kym T

    Thank you for this timely word of encouragement that I know many need to hear! I will be sharing it in hopes that it will encourage and challenge even more people.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Blessings to you Kym! So happy it hit home, and thank you for sharing! ♥

  14. Natalie

    Thanks so much for sharing your words and your heart. Both are true and sincere. Tozer says that church is where we learn to love. It is a hard work, sometimes, but God never said that loving our Christian brothers and sisters would be easy, only that we were to do it. Visiting this morning from The Weekend Brew.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Blessings Natalie…you are right, He never said it would be easy but we do it because He first loved us! Thank you so much for coming by today and taking the time to comment. ♥

  15. Andrew

    Judging by the comments I wonder if this post will be allowed.

    The comments above shows how wretched the church has become. The true example of the church is Jesus surrounded by His INDIVIDUAL disciples. They GRAVITATED together because of HIM. They didn’t HAVE to focus on the need to keep everyone together. They automatically gathered together to be near Christ.

    What about Hudson Taylor? What about scores of others throughout history who COULD NOT work with the organised groups because their calling was too RADICAL? Tell me where I can find a assembly that would have accepted Hudson Taylor. He shaved his head and fit into that very pagan Chinese society and brought the gospel to them when the organised church missionaries where more concerned with hobnobbing with British diplomats than sharing Christ with the vast lost Chinese nation. Through him the gospel EXPLODED into China. How many churches would not expel him?

    If Jesus showed up today the vast majority of so called churches would reject Him. And if you don’t believe that then I have a bridge in New York that is for sale. Do not try to tell me that Christ wants us to gather with a group that would reject Him.

    Which group effectively enables deliverance to drug, porn, depressed, and all other addictions regularly. What about deliverance from materialism? I tried for over 20 years to be delivered by organised religion. Nothing but failure. When Christ showed me my church idolatry I was truly delivered.

    The ONLY way anyone has EVER found deliverance and blessing has been by crucifying “What do men think I should do?” and replace it with “Lord I can do nothing without You but with You overwhelming me I can do all things.”

    The fact is Christ is in the process of destroying all the pagan concepts of church organisation (It IS pagan. Research it.) to get everyone ready for the Christ centred millennium system. See if that does not line up with the biblical prophecies of the last days. It will be exactly like Jesus with his disciples. There will be no layers of administration between the Christ and the laity.

    Every godly leader has wondered why it seems to be so hard to get people off the pews and into the work on the streets. There has always been only one reason that people need to be herded together and constantly beaten by guilt so that they will do their duty. That reason is that they worship what men think. This replaces all-consuming worship, love, and thankfulness to CHRIST.

    My friends you will NEVER find satisfaction in Christ if you focus on your local assembly. Only fanatical devotion to Christ as revealed by the bible will bring you rest and direction for the way ahead. But you WILL have persecution because of that.

    The bible is crystal clear that WE individually are the church. If there was only one Christian on earth that would be the church. The organisational structure is NOT the church.

    In the horse race of life we keep beating this horse called “the church” to go faster. The problem is our horse is dead. The answer is not to try to bring it back to life. We need to get back on the horse (Jesus) that each of us started the race on. The answer has always been a single-minded focus on Christ.

    How many times have I wept when I have heard the statement “How the church has helped me!” And we wonder why we can never reach that deep assurance the Christ loves us. We are in idolatry.

    You may not believe me but I truly love the body of Christ (the saved ones In every group).

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Oh Andrew, your comments are welcome here. Everyone’s comments are welcome as long as they are family friendly 🙂 I want you to know I am heartbroken by your post…heartbroken because you have found “churches” that have disappointed you. I have been “in the church” most all of my life and have seen it all…I addressed that in my post. Of course there are imperfect churches, you know why? Because they have people in them. And we are imperfect creatures! That is why they are supposed to be gathering together, to learn the Word of God (“…and how can they hear without a preacher?”) and the most important reason: to reach the lost at any cost.

      If I found myself in a church that did not preach the Gospel and did not love the lost? I would be out of there! And I would look until I found one that did. You know what? They are out there! And they are plentiful. Andrew, I know this because I have been in so many that are doing the will of God, unfortunately you have not found them. I would be happy to point you to one if I knew where you lived. My husband and I travel extensively sharing a “blueprint for revival” through Revival By Design (rbdna.org) teaching the Church to not just GO to church but to BE the church: outside of those four walls! You would love this paradigm shift! Check it out 🙂

      But is the actual Church necessary? Yes!! We are to “forsake not the assembling of yourselves together…so much more so as you see the day approaching.” What does that mean? It means we are not meant to go it alone, we need the Body of Christ working together! We need commUNITY! And we need fellowship with others of like-minded faith. That doesn’t mean you exclude anyone, never! We have been pastors, we have seen it all, believe me. We have been overseas missionaries, but at 52 years of age, I am convinced, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the CHURCH, the LIVING CHURCH, is in the will of God if they offer a place of refuge for the lost, the hurting, the down and out, a literal hospital for the broken.

      You are right when you say that WE are the Church!! Organizations will not save people but yet there are some good organizations out there. There is nothing wrong with that unless, again, they are not preaching TRUTH and they are not loving the lost. I cannot imagine a church as you have described, that would not accept these people. I have not been in a church like that and I am not saying there are not those out there because I know there are. But those churches would not keep ME from serving, living, and loving my God!

      And God never meant for us to be “on our own” without any leadership, any communion with others, we must have a shepherd, it IS Biblical, I’m not sure where you get it is pagan? We have clear scripture for the gathering together of believers.

      In your hurt Andrew, and I realize you have been hurt by the Body at some point, but in your hurt you have become calloused to any kind of fellowship of believers, and that is not biblical.

      And to answer your question, what group effectively reaches those in sin? Those that need deliverance from sins? The Body of Christ! The Church! We teach them Bible Studies, we LOVE them and teach them TRUTH, that they can Repent, turn from their sin, they can be baptized in the Name of Jesus for the remission, the washing away of those sins, and then they can be FILLED with the glorious Holy Ghost! (Acts 2) That is Christ IN us! His infilling is the power we need to stand in these evil days and to overcome temptations, like as you mentioned on your blog post that I read today. Without the infilling of the spirit, an actual happening, not shaking a preacher’s hand, but a life-changing experience, we couldn’t overcome. But because HE overcame, and then sent the Comforter, we too can overcome these things in our lives.

      My friend, I would love to help you find a good church. You are more than welcome to contact me ynannette@gmail.com and we can discuss it further.

      Much love and grace to you friend. I will be praying.

  16. Kasey Norton

    This post is powerful. And timely. Thank you for putting into words the struggle that so many deal with. I have featured it on my link up this week at Walking Redeemed.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Thank you so much, I was so tired last night when I saw your first post, where you had “grabbed” it, I thought it was a comment so I clicked on it and it left that silly trackback on your blog 🙁 You can remove that!! Thank you for featuring, it surely is a struggle for many as you can see by the comments. It did prompt at least one to return to church, praise God! Blessings friend!

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  18. dukeslee

    My heart breaks for people who really don’t feel they can “do the church thing.” I’ve encountered a lot of people in my life who’ve been wounded by the church, and I’m sure you’ve heard those stories, too. I pray for God to help me bring church to the world, in a way that eventually invites the hurting back into the church building. It’s up to the rest of us who “do the church thing” to take church with us … and then to always keep a spot open in the pew. I’ve been brought to tears on several occasions when some of those folks who don’t do the church thing, end up walking through the glass doors of my church. Some of them have stuck around, and others have moved on. But I will keep taking church with me, out those doors every Sunday morning. And I ask God to help me live a life that points to Him. Dear Lord, let it be so….

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      So good, so good! I’m behind replying but couldn’t resist…bring the church to the world–that’s US! And hopefully, eventually, they will want to come back to the building as well, keeping a spot open in the pew. LOVE!

  19. Sharon

    I hopped over here from Word Filled Wednesday. What a very powerful post! You know, it just saddens me how many people are turned away from Jesus because of the imperfections of His followers. I know some people who have been hurt and disillusioned in a church context, and it has caused them deep pain. I believe we just naturally expect more from believers, and when they disappoint, it causes wounds.

    But oh, if we all could just see JESUS. HE is all that matters. I pray for the people I know who are not attending church right now. I pray that Jesus will re-meet them, and that they will be drawn to corporate worship again.


    1. Candace Jo Post author

      If we could just see JESUS…wow. So much there in that sentence Sharon! Bless you!

  20. Dea Moore

    My dream: that everyone in the church would love the Word of God and “eat” from it everyday. Wouldn’t the church be a different place? Thanks friend for speaking the truth…

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Oh Dea…wouldn’t it be a wonderful place! Would to God The Church would just BE The Church! Grant it Lord! ♥

  21. Jenifer

    While we don’t need church to have a relationship with our Father, it is still so important. We need that fellowship with one another. Great post!

    Thanks for linking up with Woman to Woman’s Word Filled Wednesday! God bless.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      You are so right Jenifer…we don’t need that building to KNOW Him…but we do need the Body of Christ. Thank you so much friend! ♥

  22. He Sets You Free

    Stopping by from Encourage One Another. I was one who said God is everywhere, I don’t need Church, mind you that was before I became a Christian and understood its role, now I know that my Church family is instrumental to my Christian walk and I am grateful for them. Thank you for sharing your conversation. Have a blessed day. Tara.

  23. Sue

    You are so right. It definitely takes a community.

    God bless you.



  24. laura

    I don’t know what we would do without our church family. And we’ve been terribly hurt by many of them. It is a complicated thing…your thoughts here make good sense and really preach. We do need each other. I often think that if my relationship with God wasn’t so intimate, it would be much easier to give up on his people. Good words, friend.

  25. Naomi@WhatJoyIsMine

    Candace…it breaks my heart that some do not do the church thing. God created us to need community and as a body of believers we have the church setting. He knew we would need encouragement, accountability and growth in his Word to live in this fallen world. I also think when she said those words to you, conviction may have pricked her heart a bit. If she is a child of God, we can know God is faithful to His children. Thank you for a thought provoking post and for sharing it at WJIM’s Monday’s Musings. Blessings to you.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      I think you are right…she left the room in a hurry 🙁 I sure didn’t make her feel uncomfortable but I think she realized what she had said and was embarrassed. We do need the Body, the good, the bad and even the ugly, lol. It teaches us what NOT to do! Yes He is faithful and always the same. Blessings!

  26. messymarriage

    I think many of us can relate to being told those words or something like them by someone we meet, Candace Jo. It hurts when we know just how precious our Savior and Lord is–how He’s ministered to us in and through our church community. Why would she not want that? But then, like you’ve pointed out, maybe she has been hurt by someone in the church. Or maybe she just has never come face-to-face with the King of kings and doesn’t know how beautiful and loving He is. Whatever her reason, it is so sad to hear and see. I’m lifting her up to the One who can make a real difference in her life. And thanking you for reminding us that the fellowship we experience and the worship we give in our church community is vital to our growth and joy in life.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Amen!! Beautifully said. I pray for her that maybe the next time I see her, there will be a next time, hopefully another door will open that will continue the talk and somehow I can even invite her to church. God is able! Thanks for stopping by! ♥

  27. AJ Collins

    I love this post! I wrote one a year ago that was so similar I am linking it here: {http://www.onepartjoyonepartcircus.com/2012/09/you-dont-have-to-go-to-church-to-be.html} I think it’s a shame that we allow imperfect people to ruin something as beautiful as a genuine relationship with a perfect God. Love the loving, grace-filled tone here!

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      I loved your post!! It was great! So good and so timely as well. You wrote it beautifully. Thank you so much for sharing it, and I love what you said, that it’s a shame to allow imperfect people to ruin something as beautiful as a genuine relationship with a perfect God! So very true…

  28. Cindy

    A very good post, dear sis, and so very true. I cannot count how many times people have told me that they don’t need to go to church to be able to be a Christian and often their excuse is that the people at church are hypocrites anyway. And as a former Pastor’s wife myself, I also apologize for the fact that sometimes even the Pastor’s wife falls short of meeting peoples needs. People are people and we are all at different stages of spiritual growth, and we are all fallible. I am personally very thankful for the church and for the fact that there is a place for each one of us in it. I love going to church!
    Hugs, Cindy

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      So true Cindy…and so sad in many ways. There is a place for each of us! It isn’t perfect because people are not perfect, if they were they wouldn’t be here! 🙂 Thanks for taking the time to comment friend! Things are happening! ♥

  29. Lisa notes...

    I hear that response too. But I agree with you that we do all need community! It may take different forms for different people, but God designed us to live life together and help each other out. I’m glad I have several faith communities I belong to, in and outside of Sundays.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      In and outside of Sundays. Very well put. “The Church” is not just a building for sure! It is a Body of believers but it is so good to come together to worship Him. Well said!

  30. Nancy

    This post is truly a blessing to many and an eye-opener. I am joining you in praying for christie.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Thank you so much Nancy! What a blessing, I appreciate that. We are communicating regularly via email already. Thank you for stopping by! Blessings friend. ♥

  31. Kym Thorpe

    Good message – and it goes well with the sermon series we are enjoying at my church right now. God intends for us to be the Body – many members working together – and to be a picture to each other and to a watching world of what his kingdom is like. It’s not a bunch of lone wolves doing their own thing; it’s community and relationship. Thanks for sharing!

    Visiting from Sunday Stillness today.

  32. peny

    here’s my two cent’s worth, someone once said that a church is a hospital with hurt people, and hurting people hurt others. there are seasons in our Christian growth, and being hurt is just an opportunity to know and grow. we always think we know until we really know, so when hurt it really gives us an opportunity to master the art of healing, learning when to speak, how and when to keep quiet. learn to discern the sheep skinned wolves from the wolves and how to deal with them, remember we are called to be wise as serpents, driving you away from the presents of God is the enemies intent because growth is in relationships, so the enemy has sown the chaff amongst the wheat and as the parable goes they will be allowed to grow together until the time of the harvest. so until then we need to learn to be wise in our dealing with others, some people are to be loved from a distance until they decide to change, so forgive and move on with God.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      And I loved your two cents worth! So many good thoughts there, thank you for sharing, sorry it took me so long, I missed this one 🙁 and it was so good!! Blessings friend! ♥

  33. charlotte

    Lots of truth spoken here. It saddens me when I hear young people say they don’t do the church thing or read their Bibles, especially young parents. I can’t imagine raising children in this day without the support of the family of God, and direction from His word. There are no perfect churches because there aren’t any perfect people, but God says we are better together than we are alone. It isn’t easy to do as Jesus commanded and love one another as He loved us…we seem to mess it up, but we should never stop trying.
    Thanks for sharing this.

    I’m visiting from Spiritual Sundays:)

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Amen, never stop trying…we need each other. We aren’t perfect but HE is so we keep reaching for Him, beyond each other’s imperfections. Blessings! ♥

  34. Becca

    You write so well! You hit on a lot of good points. Sadly, I admit that at times I don’t treasure God’s Word like I should. Oh the difference it makes in our lives when we abide by it!!

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Thank you so much for stopping by Becca! We all have our slow days and low points in our lives. But you are right…when we follow God’s plan and stay close to Him, it sure makes a difference in our walk! Blessings friend! ♥

  35. stultsmamaof4

    You really put yourself out there, but this is a truth that needs to be told! I love the line about not letting people keep us from coming face to face with Jesus. That’s powerful. I’m stopping by from the Faithful Friday hop. Lovely to “see” you again. 🙂

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Hey Jen! Sorry it has taken me too long to respond to some of my comments this time 🙁 Thank you so much for stopping by, I love to hear from you! You always have such good things to say friend! Blessings to you! ♥

  36. christie

    This made me cry but gave me a clear reason why I should go back to church. I was one of the “hurt in the church”, I accepted the Lord Jesus as my savior and Lord in 2005 and never regret that I did, but in 2009 went to a church and thought it was full of Jesus love and spirit but didnt knew that it was all a facade. I fully trusted everyone thinking that they also experience that “newness and transformation” that I had experienced (really had a dark life and was suicidal before I came across Jesus) but to my utmost disbelief they themselves ruined my reputation and rejected me when I got into a relationship with one of the member who is now my husband (a former pastor) whom abused me in many ways also and these are the same people who friday after friday are telling me after service “Jesus loves you”. After reading your blog and made an emphasize that it wasnt Jesus that hurt me it was people so why stop worshipping Jesus who has given me life! Thank you…God bless you and may this blog reachout to all specially those hurting. Keeping in my mind and heart not to be a caused for people not coming to church.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Oh Christie! Thank you so much for this! I am so sorry for the hurt you have experienced in the church! I take that responsibility upon myself today and apologize from the bottom of my heart! These things should never happen inside a house of worship but unfortunately they do, because as we said, we are dealing with real people. And sometimes those people don’t let a real God do a transformation in their lives! Or if they do get an initial cleansing, they go right back to their old ways, which is so sad. It just does not have to be that way, nor is it the way God intends it to be! I pray you will find a church where you can worship God in spirit and in truth and find unity in the Body of Christ. Pour yourself into serving others and ignore the naysayers. We are called to serve and to give and yes, even to love those who abuse and hurt us. Your testimony today has touched me as I know it will so many others…I will be praying for you and if you can, please let me know when you have found a place you can worship. Much grace dear one. In Jesus’ name…♥

  37. Elizabeth

    I think there’s a good chance that some people will read this and not like it, and I’m sure YOU realize that, but I think that everything you said is so very TRUE. How many times do we let PEOPLE keep us from Jesus? Probably a lot! I know that, for me, now that I read scripture (almost) everyday (thanks to the SRT community), my days and weeks are better for it. The connection is there. I really enjoyed this post!

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Hello dear friend! Yes, I do know I have put myself out there and I have definitely not done it to harm anyone. I surely struggled with even hitting the “publish” button, knowing some would take it offensively even though it was NOT written in that spirit. I am saddened for those that have been hurt but you can be hurt anywhere, agreed it should NOT happen in the house of God, but unfortunately we have to let every-day, normal people inside those doors and when we do we will have schisms and we will have hurt feelings at times. I have found the only remedy is to look up! Keep my eyes on the One who never changes! If I am serving Him and not people then I can keep moving on. Thank you for your encouragement. Good to hear from you!

  38. Bonnie

    I just read a post on Facebook the other day that said 20% of Christians did not go to church and the author basically asked the reader thought you should go to church to be a Christian. The majority of the responses were their excuses of why they didn’t go to church but were Christians. I felt like I had been hit in the stomach. I wish all of those readers could read your Hope in the Healing. Love you, Friend!! BB

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Thanks B…it breaks my heart that America’s view of the Church has been tarnished in that way. I’m sure it breaks God’s heart too! I pray for a turn-around in my lifetime! Thank you for stopping by today and brightening my day 😉 ♥

  39. Martha Grimm Brady

    another thing these parents are teaching their kids by example is that GOD, His Word and His people are way low on the list of priorities for their family. so sad! so short-sighted.

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      It is sad Martha, but they were probably raised that way themselves. Mostly it is a lack of example, and the enemy is an expert at keeping us too busy! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment today. I appreciate your insight!

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Thank you! I just read your post on your blog about being a Christian to your friends, I left a comment there, loved that post!!! Excellent! Thank you for stopping by that I could meet you today 🙂 Blessings…

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Amen and amen! May we never hinder anyone’s faith. You made me go back and edit my post! Blessings to you for stopping by today! ♥

  40. Nancy Warkentin

    WOW!!!!!! Praise God!!! This is a God delivered Holy Spirit filled message. AMEN!!!!!!!

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      Thank you Nancy for your encouragement. I pray it is taken in the spirit it was written. Blessings dear friend!

  41. Lisa

    Love this post! especially when you said we shouldn’t let people keep us from Jesus. We attend church because God commands us to be in community with other believers. But that isn’t enough. I wonder how many of the people sitting in the pews every Sunday think that is it and never crack their Bibles open any other day. If you’re not reading the Bible everyday, not for information but for transformation, you are SO MISSING OUT!

    1. Candace Jo Post author

      You are right, it isn’t enough. It is all about relationship. We can attend church, read our Bibles and still not KNOW Him…thank you for that. Blessings friend.

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