Tag Archives: my three sons

So, what did you expect?

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Back in the day, my inlaws had a great place in the Ocala, Florida area. The entire family loved it there, right on a canal for boating and fishing, plus it was not too far from Disney World. There was great shopping and restaurants nearby, not to mention The Mighty Ocean.

But the best part?

It was FREE.

One summer, my mother, grandmother, younger brother and the only one of My Three Sons to grace the planet at the time, Kyle, decided to take advantage of the free vacation spot. The Sweetheart couldn’t get off work (or could he???) but graciously said we could go without him. Hmmm…little did I know that we would look back later and wonder who really had a vacation.

Heading  south, we made pretty good time considering our diverse party. It was a great week, the weather was fantastic and we just relaxed.

The decision was made to spend one full day at the ocean. So, this group of Indiana rednecks piled in the car and in no time we were claiming our spot on the beach. Kyle had a great time building sand castles and the rest of us enjoyed the sunshine.

Until the tide came in.

Being the newcomers we had no clue about tides and oceans or the rules of the beach. We had pulled our car up to our spot just like everyone else had done. This was the 80’s; obviously things have changed!

What we didn’t notice was that the other sun worshippers had MOVED their vehicles an hour or two earlier in anticipation of the changing tide. But the Hoosiers had not gotten the memo. Suddenly, a man came running over with excitement in his voice and yelling, “Why haven’t you moved that *&^%$#@! car?”

Blond and totally oblivious at the time, I didn’t realize that the wheels of our car were half-buried in the sand. Panic set in as we all jumped to our feet but that Buick was going nowhere, no way, and no how.

Our knight-in-shining-armor, who I assumed was there to save us, just kept shaking his head as if we were idiots. Okay, okay, we weren’t the smartest sand lovers on the beach. Finally, he hollered to a few guys around us for help and just like a scene from Beach Blanket Bingo, we were surrounded by muscle in no time. They heaved and pushed and rocked the car back and forth as it spun in the sand but she wasn’t budging!

Exasperated, our hero looked at me and said, “So, what did you expect?”

A valuable lesson was learned that day and even a beloved  Sunday School story came to mind that went along with our scenario. You can’t build anything on a sandy foundation. It sinks. Period. You will always need someone to come bail you out. Maybe it’s because the tide is coming in or because your sand castle is collapsing, but that house will just not withstand the storms of life.

Because you need a sure thing. You need a solid foundation.

In this world of uncertainty we must be established in what we believe! It is imperative that we KNOW Jesus Christ, not just know about Him. All of the Sunday School stories in the world will not do us any good if we have not been filled with His spirit. They are just stories until you know Him.

Look at what Jesus said here in the book of Matthew. I don’t normally use The Message version but this is so good, (don’t skip it! It really is good!)

“These words I speak to you are not incidental additions to your life, homeowner improvements to your standard of living. They are foundational words, words to build a life on. If you work these words into your life, you are like a smart carpenter who built his house on solid rock. Rain poured down, the river flooded, a tornado hit—but nothing moved that house. It was fixed to the rock.

But if you just use my words in Bible studies and don’t work them into your life, you are like a stupid carpenter who built his house on the sandy beach. When a storm rolled in and the waves came up, it collapsed like a house of cards.” Matthew 7:24-27

Stupid carpenter on the sandy beach. That was me that day because there was no plan, no thought that if you park next to the ocean you are going to have problems!

Today, at 99% of the beaches in the Sunshine State, you must park in the PARKING LOT; surely that rule/law came about the day after we left the ocean behind. I am a trendsetter like that! Mercifully, Frankie Avalon and his beach buddies saved the day and rocked the car right out of the sand…eventually.

Thankfully, I do not have to worry about that happening to me again. Nor do I worry about the spiritual house I am building. It is fixed on the Rock, Christ Jesus, and nothing can sink it or tear it down. These are homeowner improvements to my life! My house will not get washed away when troubles come.

so what did you expect

What do you expect when storms come your way? They will come, friend, they will come for sure. But we do not have to be afraid when we are built on the solid foundation, Jesus Christ.

What are you building on?

For the kingdom

To the frazzled young mother on Mother’s Day

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I always did pretty well in school growing up, at least until high school. I loved grade school, loved everything about it including the teachers, and I even wanted to be a teacher. When I hit the teenage years I changed my outlook a bit. Boys were a little more interesting than teachers but I still had many interests that kept me busy. I loved Sunday School, reading, the clarinet, and babysitting. The latter because it paid!

Then I met The Sweetheart and I knew I had fallen and fallen hard. Of course you will say I didn’t know what love was as a teenager. That’s what The Parents said too. But when July 20 rolls around it will be 39 years and whatever it was has lasted a long, long time.

I have never been happier than when My Three Sons were little and in school; the house was busy, messy and crazy. I dearly loved the daily routines, fixing breakfast, getting them ready for school, seeing them off to school, enjoying the little ones that were still at home, and trying my best to keep the house clean.

I miss that big old two-story, four-bedroom house with the wood floors that made so much noise when the three boys were chasing each other up and down the hallway. The memories of the wild things they did like duct-tape four-year-old Korey to the wall, pretending they were Tarzan only to have the vine break just as they soared halfway over the gully, or slamming doorknobs into each other’s foreheads…at least we kept the ER busy.

I miss riding the tractor for hours, the growing grass was just an excuse for quiet time! I could watch the world go by and see everything the boys were doing while the lawn was getting manicured: the softball and basketball games, chasing Molly the Beagle back onto her own property, or trying their best to pull a catfish out of the pond.

I couldn’t wait until they came home, even though I may not have gotten everything finished that I had intended. Even though they were going to pick at each other and there would probably be some punching and name-calling before the night was over, this is what I had chosen for my life. I didn’t want a career in the corporate world, nothing wrong with that, it just wasn’t for me. I had helped to get The Sweetheart there and he promised I could stay home with the boys. We never regretted it.

But seasons change and…

  • All of that time that I wished for a clean house?
  • No laundry flowing out of the basket and into the hallway?
  • No dishes in the dishwasher?
  • No dirt on the floor?
  • No Legos puncturing my tender feet in the middle of the night?
  • No calls from the schoolteacher?
  • No sound of little fists pounding on the bathroom door?

Those wishes have come true and I would give anything to relive them. You don’t know what you have sometimes until you are missing it.

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I remember when I was a young mother so many older women would say to me when I was frazzled and chasing three little boys, “Oh, you had better enjoy these days! They will be grown before you know it!” And I would just want to turn around and smack ‘em! I DID love my boys and I DID love everything about my life but sometimes it was just plain hectic. It is hard to realize that when you are in the middle of it.

And you know what? It is true…it does go by so fast. It is such a wonderful time in your life that you would love to be able to do over again if you could. Now I am the old lady saying the same thing to young mothers in the checkout line!

But God has given us seasons in our lives for a reason. And I am learning to enjoy every single one, even if it is sometimes painful. I didn’t know then what I know now and I didn’t have the relationship with HIM that I do now, which is so much to be thankful for.

And if you ARE that young mother who is so sleep deprived you can’t stay awake through church, remember they are only little for a short while. Drink in the smiles, the mischievous antics, the endless “Why’s” and “Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!” God has entrusted you with His most important treasure and most important task: to bring up your child in the way he should go so that when he is grown, when she has children of her own, they will remember a frazzled mother who even made mistakes but they will also remember the time you spent with them and the love that surrounded them.

For God is in control of each new day and if we let Him, He makes every season beautiful in its own way. And, don’t forget, the grandchildren are coming!

(photo courtesy of Shelby Fannin Photography)

 

 

Until the last rose fades

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Until the last rose fades

It’s either that happy day we look forward to in February or the most dreaded day of the year. Whether we love it or hate it, it shows up regardless.

Valentine’s Day is many things to many people. Some have terrific memories of elementary school and spending several nights in a row around the kitchen table, filling out little paper Valentines. Don’t forget to add a few candy hearts inside the little envelope! That was always the most difficult. You had to choose wisely or Tommy, Joey or Michael might think you actually liked them. EEEWWWWW!

I happen to love Valentine’s Day. I was engaged on February 14, 1979 and have great memories of dinners, flowers and chocolates. When My Three Sons were of school age, once again I found myself helping them fill out their Valentine’s. Not much had changed in the way things were done since I had been in school. They still worried over what to give to the opposite sex. So much fun with the school parties and cupcakes and games.

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Since I don’t have a hilarious true story to  share of a disastrous Valentine’s Day in the Elkins household, I thought I would share some senseless facts. There was that Valentine’s Day that The Sweetheart sent me this in a text message:

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, lived a wife that never nagged, whined or complained.

But it was a long, long time ago.  And it was just that one day.

Yeah. But I love him anyway. This one day a year.

  • Valentine’s Day’s most popular theory originates with Emperor Claudius II.  Supposedly, he didn’t want Roman men to marry during times of war but Bishop Valentine didn’t honor his wishes and performed secret weddings for those who were in love. Unfortunately, Valentine was jailed and then executed. But before he died he wrote a note to the jailor’s daughter and signed it “from your Valentine”.

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  • Some believe that the X symbol became associated with the KISS way back in medieval times. If you couldn’t write your name you would sign in front of a witness with just an X which was then kissed to show commitment and sincerity!

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  • Another one from the Middle Ages tells us that young men and women would draw names from a bowl to see who would be their Valentine. Yeah, that would happen today. They would wear the name pinned to their sleeves for one week for everyone to see. From this comes the expression, “To wear your heart on your sleeve”!

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  • Did you know that 15% of women in the United States send themselves flowers on February 14?

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  • Approximately 8 billion (that’s with a B) candy hearts are made each year for Valentine’s Day. That is enough candy to be stretched 20 times from Italy to Arizona back and forth!

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I will leave you with this true story from someone I met this week. One year he gave his wife a dozen of the most beautiful roses that looked as normal as any other bouquet. But tucked in the middle was a single, artificial rose that blended in with the rest. His note?

I will love you til the last rose in the bouquet fades completely away and dies.

Which reminds me of the year that The Sweetheart left me with a forever memory. Our wedding colors were yellow so every single year for 37 years he has never failed to send me a dozen yellow roses, even when we were overseas! One year we were ministering in Chattanooga over the Valentine weekend and he left our hotel early that morning to “go get breakfast”. He was gone over an hour and finally came back looking quite sad. He had been all over town looking for yellow roses and couldn’t find any. As a last resort, he went to Wal Mart where he bought an artificial bouquet of yellow roses. Yeah. Teary eyed, I have treasured those more than any I ever received and of course they are the only ones I still have that look as good as the day I received them.

However you celebrate today, tell someone you love them, hug your kids, your pets, your parents and your sweethearts. Everyone can benefit from sharing love!

For the kingdom