Life, Love and Endometriosis

Beyond thrilled to share a post from my daughter-in-law, Rachel Elkins! This is a huge out-of-her-comfort-zone task, in total obedience to the voice of God. Be blessed as you read her story and feel free to share your own; this is how we fight our battles!

I’m 37 years old and this is my first time writing. I’ve read many encouraging words written by my mother-in-law over the years; my sister-in-law, Alicia, just joined our family last year and she also writes so beautifully.

As a young girl, I proudly watched my mom, who was a pastor’s wife, stand in front of rooms full of women and speak eloquent words. I’m privileged to witness my husband get up every week and lead thousands of people in worship at our church.

And I’ve quietly observed from the corner. I am the person that is terrified when someone approaches me because I don’t think I will have the right words to say.

So, why speak now?  What do I have to say now that is so important?  Maybe it is nothing. But it is 3:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep because these words are on my heart.

Yesterday, I had my third surgery in 12 years for Endometriosis. This will be my last surgery like this because I’ve been told that I will need a hysterectomy by the age of 40. Endometriosis is a very painful disease and thousands of women suffer with it. Like so many others, there have been countless days when I can barely get out of bed, times I’m in so much pain that I have to cancel plans, or even days I’m in tears as I dig out my baggiest clothes to cover my bloated stomach that seems to be twice its normal size.

For some reason, many women with this disease, or other diseases, deal with it in silence. Why?  For me, I have spent so many years feeling guilty to complain or maybe even felt that it was all in my head.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can go through sufferings in my life by myself or I can share with others in hope that somehow my words can encourage.

Isn’t that what God has called us to do?

I’ve actually had other sufferings in my life that I haven’t spoken very much about. I have experienced a lot of loss in my “short” life. I lost my dad when I was six years old from an accident at his workplace. I also lost my only brother, very unexpectedly, a few years ago. I realized that I could go through that without saying anything or I could use that hurt to minister to someone in the same situation. You would never understand that kind of loss unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

If you know me at all, you know that I have also struggled for 13 years with infertility.  Unless you were family or a close friend, you didn’t hear me talk about it until about a year before I got pregnant (Yes, I said pregnant!  We have a beautiful, smart, spunky little two year old girl.) I didn’t know at the time why, but I felt very strongly to share my testimony of God’s faithfulness even though He hadn’t given me a baby yet. My husband and I made a video and it was posted on our church’s Facebook page. (Go watch it! Or wait until you are finished with this article, but be sure and see it.) We spoke of the hurt, but also the love, that God had given us for each other through all of it. We were honest in saying that we trusted His plan for us, baby or not. Hard words to say out loud!  Little did I know that it would reach thousands of people and encourage so many women in the same situation.

After I had my daughter, I remember the moment God spoke to me and said that I needed to use my experience to help others. It took me about another year to be obedient, but my friend, who also dealt with infertility, and I have recently started an infertility support group at our church. Being very introverted, I could never imagine being able to do it, but God called and He helps me every time I have to speak!  I’m not saying it’s easy!  I’ve had to look at these women and say the words I hated to hear when I was in their situation; things such as, “God has a perfect plan for your life” and “It’s all in God’s timing”. But I can honestly say that because there are no truer words.

After losing my brother in January 2015, things were bad!  I was grieving hard and I had to watch my mom grieve once again and I was mad. My husband and I were having a hard time. We went and packed up my mom who lived in another state and moved her in with us so she could have some time to heal. A couple months later I took the first pregnancy test I had taken in about 10 years. Complete shock is an understatement when we saw the word positive!

God knew!  He knew the exact moment we would need our little miracle. She has healed our family in so many ways that I’ll never be able to explain.

Another topic that we seem to avoid is struggles in our marriages.  I have an amazing husband of 16 years and we have a pretty wonderful marriage. I love him more now than ever before, but there have been lows for sure!  Did I ever admit them to anyone else? Nope! Why?  Pride, that’s why.  Who wants to admit they are having a rough patch with their spouse?  No one does. But if I don’t admit vulnerability and imperfections, then how can I expect a newly wed couple to look at us and think they are ever going to make it if they think we are always perfect?

Romans 5:3-5 says it so well. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” 

Such beautiful words and such a timely message for today.

I know that there are far worse diseases than endometriosis and there are worse situations than not being able to get pregnant for 13 years. I also understand that most people experience loss at some point, but these are my experiences and I believe now more than ever before that God allows our trials so that we can use that pain to minister and lift up others that are hurting.

Maybe it is difficult for you, as it was for me, to put yourself “out there” and allow the world to see your insecurities and even your flaws. Can I challenge you to let God use those obstacles in your life to make you stronger and then use that strength and wisdom to bless someone else? Nothing is impossible with our God!

Rachel Elkins has been attached to Kyle for over 16 years and they were blessed 2 1/2 years ago with the miracle that is Norah Jayne. Rachel leads an infertility support group at her church, The Experience Community, where Kyle is the full-time Worship Pastor. She is the co-owner and event planner at Southern Graze, where she helps create fabulous spreads for any occasion. You can find her most days in the ‘Boro chasing butterflies, playing house or building castles in the sand with Princess Nor-Nor. 

 

 

 

Sharing with Fresh Market Friday Friendship Friday

6 thoughts on “Life, Love and Endometriosis

  1. Crystal Twaddell

    Rachel, I’m so glad you shared your story on Fresh Market Friday! It is true that in this world of constantly searching for the exclamation marks in life, we don’t share our struggles, and this is where community is birthed. Your faith and courage are such an encouragement!

  2. Diane J Stockard

    Very special Story. As human beings, we all have stories to tell. We have our testimonies to share. It’s not easy, but there are so many young people out there who need our help each and every day, every hour and every moment. I wish we could reach everyone, but we can’t. Being Vice President of the Boys & Girls club in the pass, I saw and heard so many depressing stories. This was my time to share God’s love with them. It was your time to share this story with other women and other young girls. Rachel, you are a very special woman and God will continue to bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing. (I have 3 books coming out, similar to your story and much more, I will let you know as soon as I can find a publisher!). Thank you.

  3. Deb Wolf

    Rachel, Thank you so much for sharing your story. I agree that we help one another when we share the way God has worked in and through painful experiences. I could relate to so much of your story. And Nannette, thank you for linking up at Faith ‘n Friends/Counting My Blessings. I’m so looking forward to getting to know you! God bless you both!

  4. Dixie Jones

    Nannette, Thank you for sharing Rachel’s testimony!
    Rachel, Thank you for opening yourself to the eyes of others. It takes God to lead a young wife and mother through these difficult waters, and steer you safely to shore! I’ll certainly recall your testimony and take the time to pray for your health, but also your ministry to others!
    May God’s richest blessings rest on you!
    Dixie

  5. Sabrina Wilson

    What a beautiful testimony of God’s faithfulness and trust from a heart of pain! We grow most when we trust Him best in our times of pain! In good and bad times he remains! Thank you for sharing what our Lord had laid on your heart! There is hope!

  6. David O’Neal

    I don’t even know Rachel but I read her story and it broke me! I’ll never be able to comprehend the pain she went through and I don’t know how I’d deal with those issues if they happened to me! Such strength such strong faith! What an inspiration! So glad God blesses you with a beautiful child! Gods timing is perfect and youll see in time why God waited till this time to give you a child! The different stages in life will are going to be the perfect stages at the right time! Kyle is such an inspiration up there every weekend giving it his all 4 services is a lot but his passion never ceases! The love and excitement he shows in all 4 services is the exact same! Rachel it doesn’t always have to be an extrovert show of passion your passion can be introverted or even just shown to a small group of people who are struggling! Not many churches have infertility groups! I’m a guy so I can’t imagine what women with that issue go through. I mean I can’t speak from experience but I don’t think even a husband can know the full impact or even grasp what they go through! That group of women need someone with a heart like yours who’s been through the pain to guide them! Stay strong God is using you in a mighty way! He’s touched my heart through your story even though I haven’t been through those obstacles. Even though I’ve never met you or even know Kyle all that well we’re are still part of one family. We all have one father. I love you both and may God continue to bless you and your family!

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