Author Archives: Nannette

About Nannette

Wife to The Sweetheart, Mom to the Fantastic Six, Nana to six of the cutest littles on the planet, Author, The Daniel Fast, A Devotional. UPCI ministers.

When The Music Stops

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Randa Chance is a writer, speaker and pastor's wife at the Sanctuary of San Antonio.

Randa Chance is a writer, speaker and pastor’s wife at the Sanctuary of San Antonio.

Anniversary Week!  Celebrating one year of Hope in the Healing by sharing some of our most popular posts with you. Randa Chance, author of “Of Cabbages and Kings”, is one of our favorite guest authors and whether you saw it the first time, almost a year ago, or viewing it today afresh, you will glean from it! 

There is no denying it.  Music is my world. 

While I am not the greatest singer or the best piano player, music takes me to another realm and envelops me with harmonies, chord progressions, shapes and movements that shake me to my toes and make my heart tremble.

Some minor chords make me weep involuntarily.  People laugh at me when I listen to music or sing.  My frame involuntarily leans into the crescendos and progressions of minor chords and I get a funny look on my face.  When I sit at my piano and begin to play, a deep solitude comes over me.  I close my eyes and everything else fades away.  Perhaps this all sounds a bit melodramatic, but if you are a musician, you know the feeling well.

On the other hand, when a wrong note is sung or played, or a chord goes sour, it causes me pain.  I remember several years ago when a choir director taught the wrong part to the altos.  When they were joined by the sopranos and tenors, the resultant sound was a screech that sounded like a freight train going off the tracks.  It made me sad.

When the band doesn’t quite play in tune, or when singers refuse to listen to each other and they go off pitch, the cacophony of jarring notes clashing together make me want to cover my ears and rock back and forth.

In a perfect world, the music flows beautifully.  You wear a size 4, your children are attending medical school on full scholarships, there is a ready-made casserole cooking in the oven, you have no past-due medical bills, your marriage is full of passion and laughter, and the dog is housetrained.

In reality, though, there are quite a few harsh notes.

You probably either work a 40-plus-hour job to make ends meet, or you are a stay-at-home parent with just as many responsibilities, and just as little time.  I am sure that if I had the privilege of dropping by your home unannounced, I would be greeted with an overflowing trash can, a mountain of laundry, a stack of bills, and children running around in various stages of undress with sticky faces.  If I looked closely, I might witness an argument between you and your spouse over money. I might even see a family shattered by infidelity or divorce.

[Tweet “While we all do our best to present a polished appearance, it’s a different story on the inside.”]

when the music stops

When the music stops, what do you do? 

  • When the lights are turned off at church, the choir is silent, the dazzling media presentations are powered down and the saints have gone, what then?  You sit down on a pew in the darkened sanctuary and weary tears spring up without warning.

  • When you flash a strong smile to everyone around you and tell them you are doing “…just fine, God is so good…” and then return home to a broken relationship and finances in shambles.

  • When you lose someone precious to you and bear up under the load of caring for everyone else, while you die inside and wonder how on earth you will carry on without crumbling into a thousand tears.

What happens then?

I never dreamed that I would be the wife of a church planter.  In fact, I vowed and declared it would never happen because we were so poor when I was a child and my father was a home missionary.  Today, that is what I am.  Don’t get me wrong – this is where God called us and I have grown and learned more in the past four years than I ever have.  But there are days when I am so burned out that I could easily walk away from all of it.

It was beyond my imagination that I would witness the love of my life dealing with severe physical pain every single day, just to do the normal things that the rest of us take for granted, and cope with the emotional devastation that comes along with suffering from congenital abnormalities.

I never dreamed that I would have an ongoing battle against a spirit of deepest, darkest depression that made me feel like I was standing inside a 5 x 5 room built with dark cement bricks with no door and no way of escape or change.

I have always been strong, but situations in the past several years of my life have been some of the most difficult I have ever lived through.  They have left my heart raw and scars on my spirit.  They have stripped away every bit of pride and left me bare.  I never thought it would be possible to feel so numb or shattered when I had a relationship with God.

A few months ago, I drove down the road weeping over a personal situation.  I felt deep self-pity and literally told God that I felt like a barrel full of radioactive liquid that was about to spill over.  I just whined and told Him all about it.

And in His still, small voice, He whispered, “Why don’t you take everything to me in the first place?  Don’t you know I am the One who will give you the strength to cope and be victorious?”

Oh, but what is that flaw deep within me that even I fail to see, which He sees, and in His infinite wisdom, says, “This must be purified.  That must be burned away.”

Could it be that He allowed this suffering to take place in my life so that I must rely completely upon Him and no other?

In my seeking to find balance between all of my obligations as a wife, working full-time outside the home, caring for our three children, serving at our church as pastor’s wife, music director, Sunday school teacher and church custodian, sometimes I find myself spinning out of control.

I know that to whom much is given, much is required, and I over-extend myself and give beyond my means, because I am faced every single day with the realization of my own mortality and the knowledge that I have no idea how long this life will be given to me.  I long to live in peace and stability.  But instead, I realize that I am overcome with fatigue and weariness, and have been for ever so long.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul speaks about his own suffering: “There was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure.  For this thing I besought the Lord thrice that it might depart from me.  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.”

“Sufficient.” Think about it.  What does that word really mean?

In “The Hidden Life”, J.R. Miller defined “sufficient” as “…one whose meaning expands and amplifies with the measure of the need. No necessity is so small as not to be included, and none is so great as to go beyond the capacity of the blessing which is promised.”

It covers my need completely.  No more or less than exactly what is needed.

When I am exhausted, His grace is sufficient.  When I am beyond the point of wounded and have no strength left, his strength is perfect.  All of my frantic running and seeking for perfection is nothing more than running on a hamster wheel.  It does nothing but exhaust me.

And all the time, He whispers, “Come closer.  Be still, my love.  Know that I am God.”

  • Are you frantic in all of your searching to find the answer in your crisis?
  • Do you feel the difficulty of focusing on anything beyond your pain?
  • Is life a ball of roiling confusion and heartache?

It’s time to take a deep breath, and rest your eyes on the One who holds all of your tomorrows in the palm of His hand. 

Enter into His presence and stay there.  Let Him speak peace into your life.

Zephaniah 3:17 says, “The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

When your music stops, when your ability to manage and care for, and do and be all things to all men comes to a screeching halt, when you can no longer deal with the hurt…that is when He will step in.  In the very middle of your pain, you can still walk with Him in the cool of the day.  And HE will sing over you.  He will quiet you.  He will comfort and soothe you.

Rest.

Randa Chance is a writer, speaker and pastor’s wife at the Sanctuary of San Antonio. She lives in San Antonio, TX with her husband, Shane, and their children. Her new book, Of Cabbages and Kings, can be purchased by clicking on the picture here on my blog to the right! It is as delightful as and charming as Randa herself. I adore her.

Sharing with Time Travel Thursdays, Homemaking Party, Thankful Thursday, Proverbs 31 Thursday, Thriving Thursdays, Thought Provoking Thursday, Family Fun Friday, Essential Fridays, Faith Filled Fridays, Heart Filled Fridays, Fellowship Fridays

 

 

Oh Yes, He Cares!

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195My precious friend Michelle George, from Toronto, Canada shares her miraculous encounter with a guardian angel and another time how the Lord surprises her by answering a desperate prayer. 

I sold my car several years ago because it became difficult to own one as a single mother. At the time I taught Sunday School in the community and it took me three buses to get to church. One cold winter morning, as I pushed my daughter in the stroller crossing the street to catch the bus, she looked over to me with tears streaming down her face that were turning to icicles and said, “Mommy, I am just too cold.” I felt so bad for her but I only had five dollars at the time. I really couldn’t afford to spend it because I still had two more days until payday, but I decided I would use it to get a taxi. I flagged one down and told the driver where I wanted to go but that I only had five dollars so  please only go as far as that will take me.

When I got in the back of the cab it was very clean. There was nothing in the seats except the seat belts. The driver told me that he would take me where I was going and not to worry. When we arrived the meter showed that I actually owed him nine dollars but he just took the five.

I took my daughter out of the cab and put her into the stroller and went to grab my purse and knapsack. It was then that I saw on the floor of the cab a five dollar bill which had not been there before. I picked it up and as I opened my mouth to tell the taxi driver that someone had dropped a five dollar bill, the angel of the Lord placed his hand over my mouth! I actually felt a hand but did not see anyone and I was literally unable to speak! I had no choice but to take the money and exit the car. When I got inside the building I felt the hand release from my mouth. It was then that I realized that God had sent this angel to bless me and return that five dollars that I needed so desperately. With tears in my eyes I thanked the Lord for His tender care upon me! Something so small to some was truly a miracle to this single mother!

Another time I had gone to the church to assist the outreach director for the day. I did not have enough gas in the car that would allow me to drive back home so I decided to leave the car at the church and take the bus back home. When I received my paycheck I would then go back and pick up the car. Driving in the car it was hardly a prayer, I just said, “Jesus, if only You will bless me with $50 for gas then I won’t need to leave the car at church and take the bus home with my daughter late at night.”

When I arrived at church I always entered the side entrance but that day I felt I should use the main entrance. When I walked in, one of the ushers came up to me and gave me the biggest smile and placed something in my hand. I didn’t look at it, just placed it in my bag and went to work in the outreach office.  At the end of the night, as everyone was leaving, I went to my car. I just sat there until everyone was gone because I didn’t want them to see me leaving the car and taking the bus, I was ashamed.

As I sat there I remembered placing what the usher gave me earlier in my bag. When I opened it there was $50, I couldn’t believe it, and I was in awe! God had  heard and answered me even when I hardly thought it was a prayer to Him! On Sunday when I told the usher what happened, he joined me in thanking God. He said the Lord had told him to give me the $50. The Lord never ceases to amaze me. He truly cares and looks after His children.

We are often taken by surprise by circumstances and events in our lives but God never is. He knows in advance all that will happen. He cares and has provision ready for us. He truly is Jehovah-jireh, our Provider! Songwriter Mark Condon has penned a beautiful song about Angels watching over us that just sums up our story today perfectly. I hope you enjoy it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62vWj2cpGdA&NR=1&feature=endscreen

“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19 NLT.

He Heals Me, He Heals Me Not

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‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise~ Laura Story

He heals me, He heals me not…

Several years ago when my boys were little, I was volunteering at a chili supper at the elementary school where my middle, and most impetuous son, Kristopher was attending at the time. I loved chili suppers, school carnivals, book fairs, and all the things that bring back fond memories of school days gone by.

It was a great night, surprisingly good food, and now it was time to clean up. I was doing my part but didn’t really know my  way around a commercial school kitchen and went to reach into a sink full of hot water to retrieve a cookie sheet. I reached down into the water so fast without noticing the sign above the faucet that said, “CAUTION: WATER REACHES TEMPERATURE OF 190 DEGREES!”, which is just below the boiling point.

The rest of the evening is a blur but I do remember the principal taking me to the ER, my husband meeting me there, my arm being a ghostly shade of white and in terrible pain. The doctors lathered me all up in creams and wrapped my arm and hand in gauze and bandages until I felt like a mummy. They confirm that I do have second degree burns from above my elbow to my fingertips and to expect a rough night. They gave me pain medicine and said to come back the next afternoon. As soon as we got home my husband called our pastor and family and many people started praying for me. But I slept like a baby that night; I never woke up one time.

The next day I kept telling my husband that I felt no pain under the bandages and that scared him because he thought that meant something was really wrong. We went back to the doctor and I told the nurse before she started to remove the bandages that I felt no pain and that everything was fine. She said that was impossible, she had read my chart and nobody recovers in 24 hours from what had happened to me!

When she had removed all the bandages and nothing was left but the cream she turned around to get something and I started wiping it off and she screamed that I was wiping off skin!! She was nearly hysterical. But I tried to show her that it was healed!! She just could not believe it, she kept looking at my chart and then back at my arm and saying it wasn’t possible. There was not one mark, not one blister, not a scar, absolutely nothing! It was as if nothing had ever happened, exactly as it was the day before the accident. God had completely healed my arm! She still did not know how to react to the miracle; she just kept shaking her head and saying she had never seen anything like it.

I went from the doctor’s office straight to the school. When I showed the kitchen manager my completely clean and healed arm I thought she was going to pass out. She gasped and said, “Oh, my Lord! It is a miracle!” She said she had two others that had worked with her in the cafeteria before who had done the same thing and they had scars to this day from where they had put their hands down in that water. The principal was in shock because he was with me in the hospital and had heard the doctors. Every time I walked in that school they called me the Miracle Lady. I never wondered why that accident happened. I KNEW why it had happened. It was for the Glory of God! I know it was worth that few moments of pain for people to know that He still heals and performs miracles today.

But what about the times when God chooses NOT to heal?

Sometimes we pray and it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. I have dealt with this myself so much in the last couple of years that I have begun to study the Word and see just what does it say about faith and healing? So many times we hear that it is always the will of God that EVERYONE be healed. And even worse are those that say that God will always heal IF we have enough faith.

He-heals-me-not-1024x1024

How many times have we confused innocent Christians by statements such as “IF you have enough faith”? We have all been in services where Godly people have wanted to be healed and come forward for prayer and been told that if they only believed they would be healed. Then, if they do not receive their miracle they feel as if somehow it is their fault. No one means to do harm here at all. We all believe God can heal but do not realize what we are doing to those that are hanging on these words for all they are worth! They may leave a church service thinking there is something wrong with their walk with God because they were not healed. This should never happen.

Let us consider that sometimes it is not the Lord’s will or His timing that we be healed.

I am not saying the Lord puts these things upon us but I am saying that He can make something good from them. He has a better plan.

[Tweet “Paul tells us that he was given a thorn in the flesh to keep him from getting a big head! “]

“So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh… Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.” 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10 NLT.

God told Paul that healing wasn’t necessary in this situation. He was given the thorn to TEACH and to learn and then he was given GRACE as a means to cope and take him through his suffering. If God’s grace was enough for Paul why wouldn’t it be enough for us today?  Our suffering serves a purpose as well.

[Tweet “Maybe healing is not always the goal but our changed spirit, changed heart or attitude is!”]

Drawing closer to Him in the valley, learning to call on Him in times of trouble or just learning to know He is near, all of these will bring glory to God. David said “…in the valley, He restores my soul.” Psalms 23.

According to John 14:12-14, we are to be asking for things in Jesus’ name:

“Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”

My, how this verse has caused me personally so much confusion down through the years!  I never thought I had enough faith! Just because we pray in Jesus’ name doesn’t mean we receive everything we ask of God! We are to pray in the authority of Jesus. So when we pray, whether we are praying for a healing, a blessing or a financial miracle, it must agree with His will if He is going to answer it. “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: and if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.” 1 John 5:14-15.

Otherwise if you say it is always God’s will to heal then you have to say that anyone that is not healed doesn’t have enough faith. But Jesus says that faith the size of a mustard seed, the tiniest seed we can think of, is enough to move a mountain into the sea! So how little faith must someone have if they are not healed?

 

Some believe that Timothy had stomach problems and that is why Paul states in 1 Timothy 5:23, “Don’t drink only water. You ought to drink a little wine for the sake of your stomach because you are sick so often.” And so it looks like Timothy wasn’t healed either. What about John the Baptist and James, they were executed! Many of the disciples gave their lives for the Gospel. God didn’t rescue them and He could have! Was it perhaps because it wasn’t His will?

What about men and women of faith today? Why do we wear glasses, braces and hearing aids? Why does Billy Graham have Parkinson’s? Why did Lee Stoneking have another heart attack? What about our precious missionaries to Singapore, the Willoughby’s, both stricken with disease here on this earth and both taken to glory at a young age while they were doing a great work for God? God did not heal them! Did they lack faith?! Of course not!

Their living brought glory to God and their dying brought glory to God.

Yes, God is glorified by healing! Such as in my story I have shared, it had such an impact on my friends and the school.

God is also glorified through the life of a Christian whose faith is not diminished because of their illness.

They continue to walk with God in spite of the pain and suffering they go through on a daily basis. In fact they flourish! They radiate the glory of God on their face and in the fact that they still honor God in their walk with Him.

 

When I finally took the pressure from myself and realized that if and when God decided to heal me He can, I rejoiced in the revelation that He was in control and not my faith. It has nothing to do with ME, the healing power is not in my hands, but it is in His.

We must have faith that God CAN heal, but we must accept that God may not always heal if it is not His will.

That does not mean He doesn’t love me or has forsaken me. Quite the contrary, He will be everything I need Him to be if I will allow Him. “…I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”  2 Corinthians 12:10. He will walk you through your adversity, your cancer, your chronic illness, MS, lupus, brain tumor, migraines, fibromyalgia, and oh, so many, many more.

And we trust Him that He knows what is best. His grace is sufficient for me.

You might also enjoy Living at the Intersection of Faith and Chronic Illness!