Author Archives: Nannette

About Nannette

Wife to The Sweetheart, Mom to the Fantastic Six, Nana to six of the cutest littles on the planet, Author, The Daniel Fast, A Devotional. UPCI ministers.

Not All MIL Are Created Equal

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“A man who treats his wife like a princess is proof he was born and raised in the arms of a queen.” ~ Unknown

We mothers-in-law get a bad rap! No, that is not a typo. Yes, it is the mothers and not the laws who are plural in this case, similar to attorneys-at-law. It sounds just as awkward as the relationship itself can be sometimes. I like to think of myself as a most wonderful mother-in-law, but the truth is I am most blessed to have the best daughters-in-law in the world. I have three sons and three chances to get it right. And I have one example that I am trying to follow: Tava Kathryn Elkins.

Graceful, elegant, and always a lady, Tava has never infringed upon me in 39 years of marriage. Even when we practically lived next door to one another she would never drop in unannounced. I was a young bride, eager to please everyone and totally intimidated by this Grand Matriarch. About the only thing I could do well was to keep a clean house. My own mother and grandmother were both fanatics when it came to housekeeping and had made sure I would follow in their footsteps. I was proud that I had the shiniest commodes of anyone on Moffett Lane!

But Tava could cook and bake and The Sweetheart loved her special dishes that he had grown up with all his life. I couldn’t compete with homemade chicken and noodles and hand-rolled pie crusts that were so flaky they melted in your mouth. She didn’t mean to appear intimidating, but to me she was Julia Child and Donna Reed all rolled into one. Her hair was NEVER out-of-place, EVER. You can still show up at her house anytime of the day or night and she will always be well dressed and her hair in perfect condition. I have never even seen her barefoot! She has been that way for the entire 40 years I have been privileged to know her.

Her daughter and daughters-in-law are forever indebted for her endless hours of babysitting services. Mamaw Tava kept every game and toy that her kids ever owned so it was a thrill for the grandkids to go to Mamaw’s house and play with the same things that their dad and mom had played with as a child. And there were always cookies, of course there were homemade cookies, it was Mamaw’s house!

In August of 2001, Tava was outside her home in the hot sun watering flowers and pulling weeds; all the things she loved to do on a warm summer day. Her husband, Dick, had been sick for several years with amyloidosis, a debilitating and terminal disorder in which abnormal proteins build up in tissues and organs. It had slowly drained him of his strength and stamina and he could not get around very well at all by himself. They had given him only months to live with his original diagnosis and he surpassed it by five years! We were blessed to still have him.

What we did not know was that Tava had fallen in the back yard and could not get up. She was calling out to Dick but he couldn’t hear her because of the air conditioner and the television. She managed to use her elbows to drag herself through the pea gravel and sit up but the pain was excruciating and the heat was unbearable, she was afraid she was going to pass out. People were passing by on the road and she could swing one arm but they thought she was sitting and working in her flowers and waving at them, so they waved back!

Over ninety minutes had passed before my sister-in-law, who lived behind them, came home and found her. Tava had broken BOTH of her wrists and an elbow in this fall. We were just thankful that she had not broken a hip or had a stroke from lying in the heat for an hour and a half!

If that were the entire story it would be difficult enough for a 75 year old woman to deal with. But she had also just finished her chemotherapy treatments for breast cancer and was still taking radiation therapy! Taking care of her husband was a full-time job and she was determined not to let breast cancer interfere with his care. But now she had two casts on her arms and could not take care of herself, let alone care for him.

Three weeks later, on August 19, 2001, Charles Richard Elkins passed away peacefully. This lady, who had never had a driver’s license, was married to this strong giant of a man for over 50 years. There she sat by his casket with two casts on her arms, it all seemed so much to bear. We were afraid she would fall apart. She had a very large home, was she going to be able to live there by herself?

She has proved us all wrong and did her best to carry on with her life as the strong, independent woman of God she has always been. When Dick first passed away, she was going to church as much as five times a week! Jumping in the car with all her different children or grandchildren kept her busy. She was a full-time member of two churches, one that her son pastored in one city and another her daughter and her husband pastored in another small town 45 minutes away. So at one time on Sundays she would ride to Sunday School 30 minutes away, get back just in time to go with her daughter to her church in the afternoon and then back in time to go again for evening service!

A couple of years ago she had a large mole on her forearm cause her concern. Her family doctor told her it was nothing to worry about but it kept getting bigger. Finally, she told her daughter to make her an appointment with a dermatologist, she thought it should be looked at because it had gotten so big and was bleeding. The doctor removed the bandage Tava had covered it with and was shocked at what he saw. He grabbed a camera and asked if he could take a picture. The growth was 10 mm, the size of a small grape! 

The doctor confirms melanoma and referred her to a plastic surgeon in Indianapolis. Because of the length of time she had the growth, the size, and depth, they are speculating it was going to be in her lymph nodes. We were preparing for the worst. The night before the surgery, she tells me that she doesn’t expect just because she is a Christian that God should spare her from things like this. She also knows that just because she has already had breast cancer shouldn’t mean she would not necessarily get it again. She had learned to trust God no matter the situation; He always knew what was best. She doesn’t want to question God but knows that maybe by her experience someone may see the Lord is walking with her and be encouraged. If she could be used in some small way then it would be worth it.

The plastic surgeon does a fantastic job on her arm and then we just wait for the pathology reports to come back. When the call came I happened to be the one to answer and I even asked the nurse to repeat everything twice. I could actually hear her smiling through the receiver, she was as happy and surprised as I was, there was no cancer, it was all contained! All Tava could say was, “God has been good to me again, hasn’t He?!”

Tava still has an active ministry. She is in charge of sending cards of get well and encouragement for her church and is never late. She is famous for her expert handwriting skills, and she is proud to be a lefty!

Respect has to be earned they say, well Tava has earned my respect. Not because of what she has gone through but because of who she is. But what I am most thankful for is that she has given me a most precious gift. She truly gave me a husband who, for better or worse, has always treated me like a princess. He’s not a “mama’s boy”, but yet truly respects and honors his mother. I am thankful for what she has given our family. I honor you, Tava, for all that your hands have done.

“Many women do noble things but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done.” Proverbs 31:30-31

Note: This post was written in 2013 for Mother’s Day. Tava Kathryn (Bruner) Elkins passed away Friday, January 4, 2019. You can read the most recent post about her and her legacy here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Angels Aware

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We as Americans stand out on a bus in Riga, Latvia. We have a tendency to be too loud and we talk too much! Latvians are more quiet and reserved in public so anytime our missions group boarded a bus we were bound to draw attention, especially since we were speaking fluent English, with an accent!

Most Latvians under the age of thirty could speak English fairly well because it is the international business language and it is taught in the public school, but the older generation of Latvians and Russians do not understand English,  so we definitely turned heads whether we intended to or not.047

Most of our journeys were uneventful; we took the bus every Sunday morning 30 minutes into Central Station, where we traipsed down into the tunnels to change buses and start the trip to Pinki. It was another 45 minute trip to this quaint little town where we rented a beautiful Lutheran church for our services.  In the evening we would worship in a rented centuries-old Anglican building in downtown Riga, so we would repeat the process, catching two different buses and quite a bit more walking.

After about three months of this, plus all of the walking every day for outreach and evangelism, our former home church, along with friends and family, raised the money to help us get a car for the rest of our time in Riga, we were so grateful!

One day after a series of meetings in the town of Balozi, we were traveling back late in the afternoon at rush hour. This was a 60 minute bus ride from our home and three bus changes, two tunnels, three flights of stairs, and seemingly endless walking involved. I suffer with SI degenerative joint disease, and I was hurting so badly that not even halfway into the journey I was in tears. The buses at rush hour are just packed to capacity, and then packed some more.010

There is an unwritten rule on the bus for the elderly, and usually even the youth will honor that rule and give up their seat for the gray head. Well, fortunately, or unfortunately, in this case, at 51 my head is not full of gray hair. But I must admit, that day I would have given anything for a seat! I couldn’t imagine standing more than a half hour in the kind of pain I was experiencing, getting bumped and pushed and jostled all the way home.

I was facing the front of the bus and was sandwiched between my husband, Doogalas, as they affectionately pronounce “Douglas” in Latvian, and my then 19 year old son Korey, who was working with us for six months in Latvia. Suddenly an older lady, totally white-headed and obviously over 65, grabbed Doogalas and pointed to me to come and take her seat! She didn’t speak any English and we recognized her Russian. We had taken about eight weeks of Russian language classes before we came over but not enough to hold a conversation. We were all baffled by this because we had gotten on at the other end of the bus and I had my back to her. I am barely five feet tall and I am not sure how she could even see me let alone know that I was in distress. But she was insisting and pointing and pulling at Doogalas and I finally made my way to her and sat down and thanked her in Russian and English so she would know that I did not speak any more Russian. She chuckled at this, I think it was unnecessary; my accent had given me away!005

But the story doesn’t end there. I sat down and she stood there guarding me, literally protecting me. Remember the bus was as full as I had ever seen it, you could hardly breathe.

Another elderly lady got on that wanted my seat and my “guardian angel” shook her head “No!” I have no idea what was said between them but it was not pleasant. She had insisted that I get up! But my new friend gave me a look of triumph, and a sly grin, as the elderly lady grumbled her way past. And for the rest of the trip she stood right beside me just as if the Lord had sent her to watch over me that day, knowing the pain I was in.004

She got off at the stop right before mine and patted my arm before she left and told me “Goodbye” in Russian, the one thing I could say back, and after she got off she looked back and smiled and even winked at me. Now Doogalas, Korey and I had all become separated on the bus. When we finally got off at the next stop and started walking to our apartment, Korey, my ever-cynical son, said, “Mom, do you think she was a guardian angel?” It had already crossed my mind and I had secretly thanked God for sending her to me, but Korey had watched the scene unfold from the other end of the bus and was amazed at what he had seen.

A few years ago people were so caught up in angels and the focus the media and some churches were putting on them were really confusing people and almost putting angels in a place of worship, which should never be. But sadly, that should not keep us from believing what the Word of God tells us about angels and the Word tells us they ARE real and they are not only here for our protection but for many other things as well. All of the angels in Scripture carried out tasks designed to serve God, here are some examples:

  1. Worship and Praise – This is the main activity portrayed in Heaven. Isaiah 6: 1-3, Revelation 4-5.
  2. Providing – He used angels to provide physical needs; Genesis 21:17-20, 1 Kings 19:6, Matthew 4:11.
  3. Protecting – He used angels to keep God’s people out of physical danger; Daniel 3 and 6.
  4. Delivering – He used angels to get God’s people out of danger once they are in it; Angels released the apostles from prison in Acts 5, and for Peter in Acts 12.
  5. Strengthening and Encouraging – Angels strengthened Jesus after His temptation; Matthew 4:11, they encouraged the apostles to keep preaching after releasing them from prison in Acts 5:19-20, and told Paul everyone on his ship would survive the impending shipwreck in Acts 27:23-25.
  6. Answering Prayer – God often uses angels as His means of answering the prayers of His people; Daniel 9:20-24, 10:10-12, Acts 12:1-17.
  7. Caring for Believers at the Moment of Death – In the story of Lazarus and the rich man, we read that angels carried the spirit of Lazarus to “Abraham’s bosom” when he died. Luke 16:22. ~ Dr. John Bechtle

God is so good to His people! He provides for us in so many ways too numerous to count and we don’t even begin to tap into His resources that are available to us. The Bible says “He bends down to listen…” Psalm 116:2. He is as close as the mention of His name!

I watched for my “guardian angel” every time we went to the bus since she only got off one stop from ours, but we never saw her again. It doesn’t matter to me whether she was a real angel sent from Heaven or not. The important thing was that God DID send her for me at the right time that day whoever she was! He knew I was in trouble and He cared! And I am blown away by the little things like knowing that the Almighty God that created the universe looked down from Heaven and saw that I needed a seat on a bus! How cool is that?!

But I also can’t forget the wink and the smile as she walked away from the bus that day… “Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.” Hebrews 13:1,2 NIV.

 

Sharing with Hope in Every Season

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Don’t Pass By Nikolai

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 “Why did you do all this for me?” he asked. “I don’t deserve it. I’ve never done anything for you.” “You have been my friend,” replied Charlotte. “That in itself is a tremendous thing.” ~E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

We arrived in Tallinn, Estonia in the middle of September, 2010. A stranger in a foreign land, my feet had never even left the good ‘ole USA, let alone touch down three hours from the Russian border. But I was too busy taking in the sights of Old Town to be worried about the KGB. Thankfully, the Baltic countries of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania had been out from under Soviet occupation since 1991; they were free, and nowhere was it more evident than in Tallinn.

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We quickly settled in our quaint, historic hotel right in the hustle and bustle of Old Town. Well goodness, everything was historic in Old Town. The Danish rule of Tallinn had begun in the year 1219! They have a pharmacy that has been in operation for over 900 years; absolutely mind-boggling.

We stood in the city square and stared in awe; we just couldn’t take it all in. The cobblestone streets, the brightly colored buildings, the beautiful spires and steeples, it was all just breathtaking. My poor little camera was getting quite the workout but I knew my friends and family would probably never get the opportunity to see what I was experiencing and I didn’t want them to miss anything.

Eastern Europeans are not like Americans, nor would we ever want them to be. They are a very friendly and kind people, mostly quiet and reserved when you first meet them; but once you have won their trust then they are your friend for life.

We finally found an apartment a few blocks from Old Town, close to a market and the bus stops. Upon entering our building, there sat a security guard in a little cubicle by himself all day, watching a monitor and assuring that only those who lived or worked in the building were permitted in. There were two gentlemen, one in the morning, and one at night. Both of them were older, early sixties, and both were Russian.

Every time The Sweetheart and I would come or go we would always wave and speak the one or two words we knew in Russian and smile real big and then go on our way. The first time they just kind of stared at us with a surprised look on their faces, but eventually they started responding back with a smile and a wave in return. This continued for several weeks with nothing unusual, until late one afternoon.081

We came in to find the day security guard in his cubicle as usual but he had a lady visitor and as soon as he saw us come in he jumped up and ran out talking loudly in Russian and waving his arms. He kept talking to his friend and to us and smiling and bowing and then he kissed ME on both cheeks! We were all laughing but so flustered that we could not communicate. While I was recovering from my kiss, he grabbed my husband, Doug,  and kissed HIM on both cheeks! This was no small feat because Doug is over six feet tall and this man was about my height; I am just barely over five feet. All the while he was jabbering away, smiling, bowing and clasping his hands together. I knew he was trying to tell his friend something about us but couldn’t quite make it all out.

Thankfully, a young lady walked in and we asked her if she would interpret for us. Reluctantly, she agreed and we discovered his name was Nikolai and again he chattered away. When he finished, the young lady interpreted, “He says you are his friends.” I said, “That’s it?! He said all of that just to say we are his friends?!” She wasn’t into this at all and was obviously in a hurry, but we could tell there was more to this story and Nikolai was still talking ninety miles an hour. So finally the girl tells us everything he was saying and our lives were forever changed.

I hope yours will be too.

“Ever since you came to live in my building, not one day do you come or go that you do not stop and wave and smile at me. I have worked here many, many years. No one ever speaks to me. No one ever waves at me. No one ever smiles at me. I do not exist. But you people are my friends. You show me you like me, you show me love, you are my friends, you are my friends.”

By then the young lady is smiling, she doesn’t quite know how to get out of the awkward situation, so we asked her to tell him that he is our friend too, we tell him our names and we talk back and forth a couple of minutes and then we thank her for helping us; she ran toward the elevator. We were still talking to Nikolai but of course the interpreter was gone so we could not understand one another but it didn’t matter because love had taken over in that place and we were all amazed by what had happened.

You see, it wasn’t me. It wasn’t The Sweetheart. Most of us have that kind of friendly habits in our nature. We touch people’s lives every day without realizing it and thank God we do! Most of the time we do it because we were taught good manners, we had good parents, we went to Sunday School, we learned the Golden Rule. It does matter how we act, what we say, and how we react every day.

The love of Christ will shine through us….or not.

We had the wonderful opportunity to connect Nikolai with the missionary there before we left Estonia. We also had this picture framed and gave it to him before we left and he cried, which broke our hearts, and he proudly displayed it on his desk in the cubicle. We continue to pray for him and would love to be able to meet him again someday. I am grateful for the life lesson he taught us. 

It does matter how I act, how I treat people, because they are watching me and I want to be an example of the love of Christ. Don't pass by nikolai

Your ministry begins when you walk OUTSIDE the doors of your church, not when you step INSIDE.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew5:16.

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