Category Archives: Faith At Work

Life, Love and Endometriosis

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Beyond thrilled to share a post from my daughter-in-law, Rachel Elkins! This is a huge out-of-her-comfort-zone task, in total obedience to the voice of God. Be blessed as you read her story and feel free to share your own; this is how we fight our battles!

I’m 37 years old and this is my first time writing. I’ve read many encouraging words written by my mother-in-law over the years; my sister-in-law, Alicia, just joined our family last year and she also writes so beautifully.

As a young girl, I proudly watched my mom, who was a pastor’s wife, stand in front of rooms full of women and speak eloquent words. I’m privileged to witness my husband get up every week and lead thousands of people in worship at our church.

And I’ve quietly observed from the corner. I am the person that is terrified when someone approaches me because I don’t think I will have the right words to say.

So, why speak now?  What do I have to say now that is so important?  Maybe it is nothing. But it is 3:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep because these words are on my heart.

Yesterday, I had my third surgery in 12 years for Endometriosis. This will be my last surgery like this because I’ve been told that I will need a hysterectomy by the age of 40. Endometriosis is a very painful disease and thousands of women suffer with it. Like so many others, there have been countless days when I can barely get out of bed, times I’m in so much pain that I have to cancel plans, or even days I’m in tears as I dig out my baggiest clothes to cover my bloated stomach that seems to be twice its normal size.

For some reason, many women with this disease, or other diseases, deal with it in silence. Why?  For me, I have spent so many years feeling guilty to complain or maybe even felt that it was all in my head.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can go through sufferings in my life by myself or I can share with others in hope that somehow my words can encourage.

Isn’t that what God has called us to do?

I’ve actually had other sufferings in my life that I haven’t spoken very much about. I have experienced a lot of loss in my “short” life. I lost my dad when I was six years old from an accident at his workplace. I also lost my only brother, very unexpectedly, a few years ago. I realized that I could go through that without saying anything or I could use that hurt to minister to someone in the same situation. You would never understand that kind of loss unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

If you know me at all, you know that I have also struggled for 13 years with infertility.  Unless you were family or a close friend, you didn’t hear me talk about it until about a year before I got pregnant (Yes, I said pregnant!  We have a beautiful, smart, spunky little two year old girl.) I didn’t know at the time why, but I felt very strongly to share my testimony of God’s faithfulness even though He hadn’t given me a baby yet. My husband and I made a video and it was posted on our church’s Facebook page. (Go watch it! Or wait until you are finished with this article, but be sure and see it.) We spoke of the hurt, but also the love, that God had given us for each other through all of it. We were honest in saying that we trusted His plan for us, baby or not. Hard words to say out loud!  Little did I know that it would reach thousands of people and encourage so many women in the same situation.

After I had my daughter, I remember the moment God spoke to me and said that I needed to use my experience to help others. It took me about another year to be obedient, but my friend, who also dealt with infertility, and I have recently started an infertility support group at our church. Being very introverted, I could never imagine being able to do it, but God called and He helps me every time I have to speak!  I’m not saying it’s easy!  I’ve had to look at these women and say the words I hated to hear when I was in their situation; things such as, “God has a perfect plan for your life” and “It’s all in God’s timing”. But I can honestly say that because there are no truer words.

After losing my brother in January 2015, things were bad!  I was grieving hard and I had to watch my mom grieve once again and I was mad. My husband and I were having a hard time. We went and packed up my mom who lived in another state and moved her in with us so she could have some time to heal. A couple months later I took the first pregnancy test I had taken in about 10 years. Complete shock is an understatement when we saw the word positive!

God knew!  He knew the exact moment we would need our little miracle. She has healed our family in so many ways that I’ll never be able to explain.

Another topic that we seem to avoid is struggles in our marriages.  I have an amazing husband of 16 years and we have a pretty wonderful marriage. I love him more now than ever before, but there have been lows for sure!  Did I ever admit them to anyone else? Nope! Why?  Pride, that’s why.  Who wants to admit they are having a rough patch with their spouse?  No one does. But if I don’t admit vulnerability and imperfections, then how can I expect a newly wed couple to look at us and think they are ever going to make it if they think we are always perfect?

Romans 5:3-5 says it so well. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” 

Such beautiful words and such a timely message for today.

I know that there are far worse diseases than endometriosis and there are worse situations than not being able to get pregnant for 13 years. I also understand that most people experience loss at some point, but these are my experiences and I believe now more than ever before that God allows our trials so that we can use that pain to minister and lift up others that are hurting.

Maybe it is difficult for you, as it was for me, to put yourself “out there” and allow the world to see your insecurities and even your flaws. Can I challenge you to let God use those obstacles in your life to make you stronger and then use that strength and wisdom to bless someone else? Nothing is impossible with our God!

Rachel Elkins has been attached to Kyle for over 16 years and they were blessed 2 1/2 years ago with the miracle that is Norah Jayne. Rachel leads an infertility support group at her church, The Experience Community, where Kyle is the full-time Worship Pastor. She is the co-owner and event planner at Southern Graze, where she helps create fabulous spreads for any occasion. You can find her most days in the ‘Boro chasing butterflies, playing house or building castles in the sand with Princess Nor-Nor. 

 

 

 

Sharing with Fresh Market Friday Friendship Friday

But Lord, I thought You loved me?

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#FiveMinuteFriday two weeks in a row?! Yes! Today’s word prompt was perfect for my week: LOVED. I realize this is way too long for a #FMF post but hopefully it will be a blessing and I won’t be kicked out with “But Lord, I thought You loved me?!”

Mention The Dentist and everyone has a story. Some of them you want to hear, others you could go your entire lifetime without having to picture their nightmare in your mind. Then some are clueless altogether:

“My dentist told me I needed a crown and I was like, ‘I know, right?!'”

I have had so little to smile about or laugh about when it comes to my teeth the last couple of years. Everything that can go wrong has done just that. I have spent thousands of dollars and still don’t have a million dollar smile. But yesterday was the worst day ever.

Just a couple of weeks ago I had two root canals and three new crowns put in. While we were waiting on the permanent crowns, one of the temporaries fell off in my mouth in the middle of the night, breaking the remaining tooth with it and requiring a special post to be put in before the permanent crown could be attached. So far, that is holding well.

I woke up yesterday morning with something floating in my mouth again. This time it was the other permanent crown, completely broken off at the gum line! I was beside myself and called the dentist who got me in right away. I assumed they would do the same thing and make another post but they said there wasn’t enough to attach it to and I would need to have that remaining tooth pulled and a bridge and another crown put in!

Now, I know it’s just teeth. I know some would consider this a first-world-problem. But I don’t have thousands of dollars right now and I am also stressed to the max with dental woes. I’m tired and weary of shots and bite blocks and drills, oh my! So, when they told me what needed to be done and how much more it would cost, I couldn’t stop the tears that trickled down my face. (Thankfully they were applying the cost of the crown that broke toward the new crown and bridge which helped a bit.)

My dentist is a woman and she is super sweet and kept apologizing, brought me a box of tissues and said they would give me a moment alone to think about it.

Thanks.

The immature Christian in me laid my head back in the patient chair, closed my eyes and prayed, “Lord, I thought you loved me?” Okay, maybe not those exact words but the thought was in my head I am sure. Every time I have had to go to the dentist the last five months, and it is a lot, I have asked God to intervene, to make a way with the financial side, to work a miracle that I wouldn’t have to have the painful and expensive things done and every time, every single time, the opposite has happened. My bill just keeps climbing.

So these thoughts were running through my aching head: “Lord, I thought You loved me. I thought you would intervene here. You know we need a new(er) car and yet my dental bill IS a car payment! Nothing is working like I have prayed, Lord. I thought YOU loved me!”

Can you imagine what our God was thinking? He loves unconditionally. He loves whether my teeth are in or out of my mouth. He loves REGARDLESS. I know that. I knew that yesterday too and I remembered the three Hebrew men who were thrown into the fiery furnace. They made up their mind ahead of time that it didn’t matter what was going on around them, it didn’t matter their circumstance. They knew that their God COULD deliver them, but if He didn’t, it was okay, they were still determined, they still believed He was in control and they were still going to serve Him REGARDLESS. This is their reply to the King: “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty.  But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” Daniel 3:16-18 NLT

They could have felt like I did and even asked God, “I thought you LOVED me?! Why would You put me in this situation? I thought my life was to be nothing but dark chocolate, cold brewed coffee and shopping sprees?”

But they didn’t. They knew that they lived in a fallen world, that bad things happen to good people and sometimes it’s just LIFE.

Yes, God DID deliver them! Yes, it was a mighty testimony of His delivering power and the King was amazed. 

God does love us. Sometimes we walk through valleys and think we are alone and the answer is not what we were expecting. But eventually we see that He walked WITH us, He never left us, He gave us a testimony, encouraged us through others and encouraged others through us!

God does care about the big and little things in our lives. How do I know there won’t be a bigger miracle down the road in regards to my teeth? And what if it isn’t about the money but about how I react to the situation? That maybe the people in that office are watching me and I could show them Jesus even if I am upset? That every time I have had to go in there I was bringing Jesus with me. Maybe it isn’t about me and my teeth at all! Maybe someone there needs to know Jesus loved us all. He still does and He reaches continually for the hurting and the broken.

Even if He doesn’t answer the way we think He should, it doesn’t mean He doesn’t love. It means He is working in ways we cannot see and will use US to reach others even if it means enduring some temporary pain in this life.

For the kingdom

 

What’s in a name?

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#FiveMinuteFriday! Word prompt is Woman. Join me for What’s in a name?!

Names are intriguing at times. Just take mine, for instance. No, really, take it! Yvonne is my first name but my parents have always called me by my middle name, Nannette, which I prefer. Yvonne was my grandmother’s name, it’s always an honor to be named after someone and I adored my grandmother.

Then there is the origin behind Nannette. Obviously, both names have French roots and even sound better if the French are doing the pronouncing. You might think my parents had some rich friends from Paris that visited often and the wife’s name was Nannette Eloise Babineaux (BAB-in-oh). Elegant. Classy. Cosmopolitan!

But no, my parents didn’t have French friends, had never been to France and didn’t take French in high school. They did have a friend though that influenced my name and that friend had a dog. A french poodle, to be exact. And the French poodle had a name.

Yep.

Nannette.

So, with all confidence when someone asks, “Who were you named after?” or “Nannette is such a pretty name, is it in your family?” Ugh.

I was named after a dog, people, a dog.

Names matter. Names are remembered. Names have lifelong consequences or blessings! The Book of Acts only briefly mentions a woman with an unusual name that we do not hear much of today.

In the 17th chapter of Acts,  the Apostle Paul is preaching on Mars Hill and addressing The UNKNOWN GOD that the people of Athens had inscribed on an altar. It is said that about 600  years before Paul preached in Athens that a devastating plague tore through the city. A man named Epimenides thought he could please the gods by sacrifice so he let loose a flock of sheep through the town and wherever they lay down that was where they sacrificed that particular sheep: to the god that had the nearest shrine. If it didn’t lay down near a shrine or temple then they sacrificed it To the Unknown God. But Paul let them know, “The God who created the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, because it is He who gives to all life and breath and all things.” 

What comes next gives a woman a place in Biblical history and leaves us to forever wonder about her life, her relationship with God, her faith and her conversion.

“So Paul went out from their midst. But some men joined him and believed, among whom also were Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris and others with them.” Acts 17:33-34 ESV. (Emphasis mine.)

A woman named Damaris? She is mentioned by name this one time in the Bible and we are given no other information about her except that she joined Paul and she believed.

The Greek meaning of the name Damaris refers to a calf or heifer. Probably not going to mention this to my expectant daughter-in-law as a name choice for our little one on the way!

But the Latin name means gentle and after reading the account of Paul’s sermon, understanding the background of the people in Athens and their infatuation with The Unknown God, I thought that maybe, just maybe, this woman named Damaris was given her name for a purpose, even if it wasn’t revealed to her parents at the time. Quite unlike me and my French poodle.

Her spirit was gentle and yet perhaps it was strong-willed, meaning when she was convinced of something she wasn’t about to let go. “But some men joined him and believed…and a woman named Damaris…” For a woman to be mentioned in scripture in this fashion was a big deal and says to me that she was singled out for a reason. She was wooed by the Savior, by the scripture, not only for her personal salvation but for her influence. Damaris was likely well known and perhaps looked up to in the community and when she joined Paul, when she believed in Jesus Christ, this gentle woman plowed through the rest of her life letting others know about the One who gave His life for everyone.  She wasn’t intimidated by those that did NOT believe, 

Can the same be said of us today? When we walk by do others get a sense of peace because we shine the Light of Christ or do they whisper about that woman who does nothing but cause division?

A woman named ___________________________. Insert your name here and determine from this day forward to be like Damaris. Even though we know so little…okay…. we know nothing about her; we are looking at that name and surmising that she was strong as a bull but yet gentle like a dove. A perfect combination for a soul winner. Be that woman!

(You might also like my humorous post about my alter ego. Read it here!)