Category Archives: Looking Over My Shoulder

because-of-sandy-jo

Because of Sandy Jo

because-of-sandy-joIf you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.” ~ Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

You would find them in the soda shops and movie houses any time of the day or night. Sitting on the bar stool or stuffed into a booth. Sipping on a milkshake or devouring a greasy cheeseburger with all the trimmings. They all looked the same; they wanted to fit in just like kids today.  Decked out in saddle shoes and penny loafers, cuffed blue jeans, Shetland sweaters, poodle skirts, and I.D. bracelets. Elvis and Patsy Cline swooned on the juke box and the Korean War and McCarthyism were all but forgotten for the 1950’s teenager.

Sandy Jo McCammon might be considered your typical teenager except that she was an only child. And she was probably spoiled. Her mother had lost her first child when she was just three weeks old and never really recovered from the loss so both parents especially doted on Sandy. With hard-working, middle class parents, she never really wanted for anything.

But what she dreamed of was to be a dancer! Her cousin Jennifer had the same aspirations. They surely went to the movies every Saturday matinee and dreamed of being the next Ann Miller or Ginger Rogers. They took lessons together and learned to tap dance.  They never made it to Broadway but they sure looked great in their costumes.

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Sandy met Buddy in high school and set up housekeeping at the close of the 50’s and welcomed the 60’s, not realizing the impact those next ten years would forever have on their lives. For from 1959 to 1970 they would not only have four adorable children (yep, one of them was me!), but would even see the youngest off to kindergarten by the time the seventies rolled around. You better believe they were busy!because-of-sandy-jo

Sandy had several occupations besides Mother, and I have no idea how she had time for any of them. She cleaned houses and even worked in a factory for a very short time, but I don’t think she was fond of that one; she never liked to sit still for very long.

One of her favorite jobs though, I believe, was her beloved school bus. Her father-in-law had driven for many years and encouraged her to get her license. It was just perfect for her and the hours were great.

In between all of these occupations, Sandy had time to be called Grandma, or Mamaw Sandy. She became a grandmother at a very young age with my very own Kyle Douglas more than 40 years ago and eight more have joined him since then. Now she is welcoming great grands and added three to the crew this summer bringing that total to ten.

grandkids

One of the greatest privileges of my life was being with my mother when she gave her heart to the Lord. I was twelve years old and I have no idea why I decided to tag along with Mom and her friend Jackie. My Dad was brought up in the church, but my mother was not, and they had not served God since they had been married. Mom was a fairly heavy smoker of unfiltered Winstons.

It was a cold January night when we arrived at the revival meeting. Although it has been 50 years ago now, I can still remember my mother standing there with tears streaming down her face gripping the back of the pew at the close of the preacher’s sermon. She didn’t wait for an invitation; she was already heading down that aisle to give her heart to God.

My Dad was surely surprised when she came home with the news but the next week we were all in church as a family and they have served God together the last 50+ years.

The most wonderful miracle was when Mom came home that night from that revival meeting. She went straight to the drawer in the kitchen where she kept those Winston cigarettes and threw them all in the wastebasket. She never had another cigarette again and she never had withdrawal symptoms! She was instantly delivered when she was filled with the Holy Spirit; God still performs miracles today!

It is fun to reminisce about your mother’s life but I honor her today for taking that step of faith so long ago for ALL of our family. I often wonder how different our lives would have been had she not answered that call that night. Would any of us be serving God? Would our marriages be in shambles? How about our children? What direction would their lives have taken? None of them have ever been in trouble with the law. Neither have my brothers or sisters children. It could have been so different.

But because of my mother, all of her children and all of her grandchildren are serving God today; what a testimony and what a blessing! No, she is not a celebrity, but she will leave a legacy that far surpasses what the rich and famous will ever experience.

Thank you, Mom. We have much to be thankful for today because of you.

And Happy 80th birthday today! You deserve all the happiness in the world and good health to go with it.

momanddad

Life, Love and Endometriosis

Beyond thrilled to share a post from my daughter-in-law, Rachel Elkins! This is a huge out-of-her-comfort-zone task, in total obedience to the voice of God. Be blessed as you read her story and feel free to share your own; this is how we fight our battles!

I’m 37 years old and this is my first time writing. I’ve read many encouraging words written by my mother-in-law over the years; my sister-in-law, Alicia, just joined our family last year and she also writes so beautifully.

As a young girl, I proudly watched my mom, who was a pastor’s wife, stand in front of rooms full of women and speak eloquent words. I’m privileged to witness my husband get up every week and lead thousands of people in worship at our church.

And I’ve quietly observed from the corner. I am the person that is terrified when someone approaches me because I don’t think I will have the right words to say.

So, why speak now?  What do I have to say now that is so important?  Maybe it is nothing. But it is 3:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep because these words are on my heart.

Yesterday, I had my third surgery in 12 years for Endometriosis. This will be my last surgery like this because I’ve been told that I will need a hysterectomy by the age of 40. Endometriosis is a very painful disease and thousands of women suffer with it. Like so many others, there have been countless days when I can barely get out of bed, times I’m in so much pain that I have to cancel plans, or even days I’m in tears as I dig out my baggiest clothes to cover my bloated stomach that seems to be twice its normal size.

For some reason, many women with this disease, or other diseases, deal with it in silence. Why?  For me, I have spent so many years feeling guilty to complain or maybe even felt that it was all in my head.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can go through sufferings in my life by myself or I can share with others in hope that somehow my words can encourage.

Isn’t that what God has called us to do?

I’ve actually had other sufferings in my life that I haven’t spoken very much about. I have experienced a lot of loss in my “short” life. I lost my dad when I was six years old from an accident at his workplace. I also lost my only brother, very unexpectedly, a few years ago. I realized that I could go through that without saying anything or I could use that hurt to minister to someone in the same situation. You would never understand that kind of loss unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

If you know me at all, you know that I have also struggled for 13 years with infertility.  Unless you were family or a close friend, you didn’t hear me talk about it until about a year before I got pregnant (Yes, I said pregnant!  We have a beautiful, smart, spunky little two year old girl.) I didn’t know at the time why, but I felt very strongly to share my testimony of God’s faithfulness even though He hadn’t given me a baby yet. My husband and I made a video and it was posted on our church’s Facebook page. (Go watch it! Or wait until you are finished with this article, but be sure and see it.) We spoke of the hurt, but also the love, that God had given us for each other through all of it. We were honest in saying that we trusted His plan for us, baby or not. Hard words to say out loud!  Little did I know that it would reach thousands of people and encourage so many women in the same situation.

After I had my daughter, I remember the moment God spoke to me and said that I needed to use my experience to help others. It took me about another year to be obedient, but my friend, who also dealt with infertility, and I have recently started an infertility support group at our church. Being very introverted, I could never imagine being able to do it, but God called and He helps me every time I have to speak!  I’m not saying it’s easy!  I’ve had to look at these women and say the words I hated to hear when I was in their situation; things such as, “God has a perfect plan for your life” and “It’s all in God’s timing”. But I can honestly say that because there are no truer words.

After losing my brother in January 2015, things were bad!  I was grieving hard and I had to watch my mom grieve once again and I was mad. My husband and I were having a hard time. We went and packed up my mom who lived in another state and moved her in with us so she could have some time to heal. A couple months later I took the first pregnancy test I had taken in about 10 years. Complete shock is an understatement when we saw the word positive!

God knew!  He knew the exact moment we would need our little miracle. She has healed our family in so many ways that I’ll never be able to explain.

Another topic that we seem to avoid is struggles in our marriages.  I have an amazing husband of 16 years and we have a pretty wonderful marriage. I love him more now than ever before, but there have been lows for sure!  Did I ever admit them to anyone else? Nope! Why?  Pride, that’s why.  Who wants to admit they are having a rough patch with their spouse?  No one does. But if I don’t admit vulnerability and imperfections, then how can I expect a newly wed couple to look at us and think they are ever going to make it if they think we are always perfect?

Romans 5:3-5 says it so well. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” 

Such beautiful words and such a timely message for today.

I know that there are far worse diseases than endometriosis and there are worse situations than not being able to get pregnant for 13 years. I also understand that most people experience loss at some point, but these are my experiences and I believe now more than ever before that God allows our trials so that we can use that pain to minister and lift up others that are hurting.

Maybe it is difficult for you, as it was for me, to put yourself “out there” and allow the world to see your insecurities and even your flaws. Can I challenge you to let God use those obstacles in your life to make you stronger and then use that strength and wisdom to bless someone else? Nothing is impossible with our God!

Rachel Elkins has been attached to Kyle for over 16 years and they were blessed 2 1/2 years ago with the miracle that is Norah Jayne. Rachel leads an infertility support group at her church, The Experience Community, where Kyle is the full-time Worship Pastor. She is the co-owner and event planner at Southern Graze, where she helps create fabulous spreads for any occasion. You can find her most days in the ‘Boro chasing butterflies, playing house or building castles in the sand with Princess Nor-Nor. 

 

 

 

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The story behind America, the Beautiful

O beautiful for spacious skies…

When we hear that first line of one of our most beloved national hymns, the emotions of Love for Country stir within us. Do you know the story behind this Independence Day song?

Katharine Lee Bates (1859 -1929), wrote the original poem in 1893 and revised it twice in 1904 and 1913. The words of this song came from a poem of the same title by Bates. It was originally published in the July 4th edition of The Congregationalist, 1895.

Bates was a teacher and professor of English at Wellesley College, poet and author of books such as America the Beautiful and Other Poems, which was published in 1911.

She made a trip to the summit of Pikes Peak in Colorado, which was her inspiration for the lyrics to America the Beautiful. There is a plaque there today and the story is best told by Katharine herself: “We strangers celebrated the close of the session by a merry expedition to the top of Pike’s Peak, making the ascent by the only method then available for people not vigorous enough to achieve the climb on foot nor adventurous enough for burro-riding. Prairie wagons, their tail-boards emblazoned with the traditional slogan, “Pike’s Peak or Bust,” were pulled by horses up to the half-way house, where the horses were relieved by mules.

We were hoping for half an hour on the summit, but two of our party became so faint in the rarified air that we were bundled into the wagons again and started on our downward plunge so speedily that our sojourn on the peak remains in memory hardly more than one ecstatic gaze. It was then and there, as I was looking out over the sea-like expanse of fertile country spreading away so far under those ample skies, that the opening lines of the hymn floated into my mind.”

The original melody was written in 1882 by Samuel Augustus Ward, a composer and organist. It was titled Materna and was first published in 1910. It was sung for many years to the tune of Auld Lang Syne. It was said there were as many as 74 different melodies tried out on the poem before deciding on the one we hold so dear.

Ward died one year before the song was published as America the Beautiful. Ward and Bates never did meet.

Interestingly, Ward’s family never obtained any royalties for the song and Bates received $5 when the poem was first published and then gave up all royalties to the title.

Along with My Country ‘Tis of Thee and The Star Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful was considered for the national anthem. But President Herbert Hoover signed a law giving the right to bear the national anthem to The Star Spangled Banner. Many disagreed and have lobbied down through the years for it to be changed to America the Beautiful. There are still many active petitions today.

 
America The Beautiful:
O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness,
And ev’ry gain divine.
O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears.

America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea.

Many things have changed since Katharine Bates first penned these lyrics. Some might say she would hardly recognize her Beautiful America today. Yet, we are still among the most blessed people in the world to live in a free country. May you enjoy the patriotic unity we feel on this wonderful holiday of Independence Day and let us pray that we always enjoy the freedoms we hold so dear.

From sea to shining sea.

Ray Charles’ rendition seems to be beloved by so many…enjoy!

Do you have a favorite memory of Independence Day? What are you doing to celebrate this most patriotic of holidays? Share with us!