Category Archives: Uncategorized

When the plan falls apart, then what? Part II

Make a decision to adapt and climb on board!

In 1786, Scottish poet Robert Burns penned the line, “The best laid plans o’ mice an’ men often go awry.” Apparently, things not turning out exactly as planned is an incredibly old phenomenon. The blog Stranded here at Hope in the Healing, as well as the first part of this one, attests to the fact that plans are not fail-proof. 

While thinking about the many trips I have taken, I could not forget our family vacation to Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone Park. I think it was 1977 and as we were driving away from Mount Rushmore, Dad’s car started overheating. We ended up stranded seventy miles away, in Spearfish, South Dakota. The car’s engine was beyond repair so Dad bought the only used car available there. Money had to be wired from Indiana to South Dakota, and it took a couple of days. While we waited, we indulged in a local favorite, the Polka Dot drive-in restaurant. (Picture bright pink awnings with big white polka dots.) We kids snuck off to enjoy The Apple Dumpling Gang, showing at the theater. Although the plans had most decidedly gone awry, and Dad’s stress must have been intense, we ended up creating some fun memories. Dad drove the Oldsmobile he bought for many years and we still talk about this and have a laugh together.

My thoughts turned to the more philosophical idea of our lives as a journey. Almost every youngster has an answer for the question of what they want to be when they grow up. At age four or so, one of my great-nephews would answer he wanted to be a garbage man. Now that he is a mature seven, he wants to be a marine biologist. Plans change; we adapt. By the time we leave our teenage dreams behind, most of us have at least a vague outline of our life journey. I had what I considered a great plan; I would become a pharmacist. Marriage was only an option if I found my soulmate, no settling for less. I would work hard, put in extra hours, and save, save, save, making sure I owned a home mortgage free, and be able to retire at age 58. Then, I would shift from career to doing things I really wanted to do and then would be free to travel. I would go to Ireland and connect with my heritage; life would be mine to enjoy.

Early on, things began to go awry! I became a pharmacist, and worked hard: driving all over Indiana filling in shifts for other companies after working my own full-time position. I had some nagging health problems that had been in the background since college. The fatigue of working so much seemed to aggravate what was diagnosed as rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. As these diseases became more problematic, I was determined to push them to the side and win the battle they were waging. I had a nice home with a nice mortgage attached. 

During the fifteen years after college, I did nothing except work. No travel, no spa days, just work! (At age 35, I did find my soulmate which was the bright spot in this period of life.) By age 40, rheumatoid arthritis had destroyed my right knee, requiring it to be replaced. Despite always declaring I was fine, the progression continued. At age 46, I could no longer work, and have since been on Social Security and private long-term disability. I just turned 58. Now is when I planned to travel and enjoy life to the fullest. Those plans have gone awry! Travel is defined as going to the kitchen from the other end of the house.

What do we do when the journey seemingly gets so off course? First, maybe we should consider if it is truly off course, or if our plan was amiss. Maybe we are right where we should be for this season. We also need to decide how we are going to react to this change of course. You could consider if your pain serves a purpose; you may inspire someone you do not even know. Just because there are obstacles along the way, do not give up on your journey! Keep persevering and enjoying the things you can in the ways you can. Attitude dictates a great deal. Just because I cannot hike trails in Arches Park, I can still enjoy the beauty while riding in an RV. 

We enjoyed our RV journey so much, and found we can adapt it to work around the physical barriers. Guess what? We are now in the market for an RV. That sure was not in the plan! None of us knows what is around the next bend in our road. Do not put off until later the things you want to enjoy along your journey. Seize your opportunity!

Joy is a pharmacist in early retirement due to health problems. She is trying to live the best version of life and be willing to adapt to the continuing changes. She and her sweet husband, Doug, have two golden doodle furbabies. Oliver and Kenzi have recently discovered their love of going on RV trips! It’s become a family affair.

Stranded.

This adventure of a lifetime began August 4, 2020 in Paducah, Kentucky. The place is insignificant, it is just where we rented the 32 foot Sunseeker motorhome that would be our home for the next two weeks.

Our plan to see the west was something we had always wanted to do. The RV seemed sensible since I have so many issues with my back. This would afford me a way to move around or even lie down if pain or muscle spasms were causing major discomfort. All in all, it was a good plan!

We headed to Sioux Falls, Iowa for our first night and we were already adjusting to life in the RV. We had a 26 ft. camper when My Three Sons were growing up so we were somewhat familiar with campgrounds, etc. The RV was operating smoothly as we entered The Badlands.

Our next stop in Rapid City, South Dakota, we were able to view the Crazy Horse monument, and then on to what would be the fulfillment of a lifelong dream: to see George, Thomas, Theodore and Abe sitting high on Mount Rushmore.

We were putting miles on this little home-on-wheels like crazy but the views were absolutely breathtaking! Yellowstone, the Grand Tetons, Old Faithful, everything was so gorgeous it made you want to stand and sing, America, America, God shed His grace on thee! 

And finally, we were heading to Colorado where we would spend the rest of our second week. Desolate doesn’t begin to describe this area of Wyoming that we were driving through to get to Colorado Springs. Beautiful though it was, there were just miles and miles of nothing and nobody! 

It was along Interstate 80, outside of Rock Springs, Wyoming, that suddenly we heard and felt what seemed like large boulders raining down on our little recreational vehicle! The wind was absolutely insane anyway and we pulled to the side immediately to discover the awning was beginning to come loose and was flapping like nobody’s business. (Side note: most RV rentals do not allow you to use the awning while renting because it is so expensive to replace if a wind gust catches it while it is extended in a campground. We had NOT used the awning at all and have no idea what caused it to come loose and begin its crazy whirlwind dance.)

Now, it sounds like an easy repair, but as handy as The Sweetheart is, and I know he can fix about anything, this cannot be done alone and without a ladder. And we couldn’t leave it to flap away because we were afraid the wind would grab the entire awning and rip it from the vehicle.

So, fortunately, we were a quarter mile from an exit, and driving a gentle, even-I-could-walk-faster-than-that speed, pulled off, but there was NOTHING at this desolate exit except for a state highway salt drop. The Sweetheart slowly pulls in there even though it said, “NO TRESPASSING, NO ENTRY, STATE PROPERTY.” He figured that he needed the salt mound to be a wind break for the motor home injury and said he would talk his way out of it later if need be. It will be.

Pause for effect: The next morning someone pulled up in a truck and we assumed it was our technician. Unfortunately, it was a guy from the State Highway Department who was NOT happy with us being there. He was quite rude, and a little condescending, but we understood he had a job to do as well. Once we told him a state trooper had been out he calmed down a bit but still was adamant that we leave as soon as possible. No one wanted out of there more than we did!

Every renter must pay $35/day for insurance and roadside service, a good thing, correct? Their motto?  “Million-dollar peace of mind with insurance and 24/7 roadside. Real people ready to help with 100+ advisors here 24/7.”  If million dollar peace of mind meant shielding you from the ridiculous number of phone calls, promises, details, more promises, no-shows, state trooper visit, a thunderstorm coming up and nightfall on its heels, I would have been okay with that. But allow me to just sum it up by saying we had to spend the night beside the salt mound, totally dark, totally alone.

We were promised a technician would arrive first thing in the morning. 

To say that The Sweetheart’s nerves were frazzled would have been the understatement of the year. That million-dollar peace of mind was nowhere to be found and the real people ready to help were suddenly totally helpless. 

I began to pray while the love-of-my-life was stuck with endless phone calls. I am a believer in the miraculous, you too? I have seen the miraculous but I admit I wasn’t expecting it at that moment. Can I get a witness? I just knew we needed help and that God cares about the big, the small, the insignificant and even the stranded. Yes, He surely does. 

My prayer was for God to send someone quickly so we could get on down the road. God’s plan was something entirely different. I don’t know if you would call it a vision, I’ve never had one, but what I saw immediately while I was praying shook me and gave me the utmost strength and peace. It was as clear as the ski-slope nose on my face: I vividly saw angels surrounding our motorhome, at least 50 of them, and every single one had a sword in his hand, guarding, protecting and prepared to do whatever necessary to make sure we were alright. 

I was expecting the phone to ring at any time with a technician telling us help was on the way. That didn’t happen. God wanted to let us know that no matter what we were facing, He was there! It meant that even if we had to stay in our dilemma, even if we were in the midst  of our own fiery furnace, God wasn’t about to leave us by that giant salt reminder of Lot’s wife! He wasn’t going to leave us afraid and unable to sleep. 

In fact, we slept pretty well, considering! We got up early, made breakfast, thanks to our generator, and cleaned up the motorhome. 

Pastor Ken Gurley said in a devotion this week, “An answer delayed is not an answer denied!” Help will come in His unhurried time and while we are waiting, He will give perfect peace and strength to endure the trial.

Were we ever in any real danger? I may never know but we may have been. Reflecting this morning I wondered why the angels all had a sword? Were they expecting a battle? Did they know something we did not? Are they always prepared with their sword in hand? I see so many places to go with these thoughts but this is already way over a comfortable word count. 

Even though help did not arrive until almost 2:00 in the afternoon, 22 ½ hours from the time we pulled off, we were safe, we were in the hands of the Creator of the universe who loves us enough to let us know HE is in control and as the song goes, “I know You’re able, and I know You can, save through the fire with Your mighty hand, but even if You don’t, my hope is You alone. I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt, would all go away if You just say the word, but even if You don’t, my hope is YOU alone!” 

Even if You don’t answer when I think You should, Lord, You know what’s best, You have a better plan for me, a way to show me Your power and might and if I never find myself in difficult situations, I would never know Your power or see Your glory! 

Anxiety comes knocking loudly at your door when you are faced with something out of your control. Then, the enemy will magnify any test or trial, or just circumstances of LIFE, and make you think things are ten times worse than they are. He wants you to worry, wants you wringing your hands and unable to think or sleep. 

But my God wants you to know that if you are stranded, spiritually or physically, or going through a test or trial you don’t understand or may not see an end to, don’t give up! God knows where you are and He has not abandoned you. There is nothing our God cannot do. He knows the end from the beginning, He sees down the road and whatever obstacle is in your way He can either remove it or use it as a stepping stone in your walk and relationship with Him. He always has you as His number one priority!

Now, I wrote this several days ago when it happened and have not had WIFI to finish it until tonight. Do you know why? Because I am STRANDED again!!! I am not kidding you, friend, we now have engine trouble, three hours from turning this back over to its rightful owner. We are in a much better area, a shopping center parking lot, surrounded by restaurants, yay. But, once again, “Thank you for calling, ____________, we promise to give you million-dollar peace of mind….tomorrow.” True story, tomorrow. 

I wonder what my God has up His sleeve for tonight? He may send 50 angels, He may send a mechanic, but He will always send peace that passes all understanding. The same is true for you, friend. He may send angels, He may send a next door neighbor but He will always BE THERE FOR YOU. 

All in His good time; and He is always, always good.

Here is another great true story of how God kept us during a real and harrowing storm while we were overseas. Where was Jesus in MY storm?

For the kingdom

What if it isn’t a Happy Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day weekend is a time of gathering, celebrating and loving on those in this world who give so very much. But for some it is one of the most difficult times of the year.

If you have lost your mother, if she has fought a good fight and reached her reward, your heart is grieving, broken. My prayer is that God will send a forgotten memory to you and love you through that sweet reminder of your mother this weekend. It is okay to grieve and it is healing to sit down and have a good cry! Relive the good times and find joy in the blessings that your mother brought to your life.

If you do anything this Sunday, take time to sit and REMEMBER. Remember how blessed you were by your mother and the way she shaped your life. Her influence lives on in you and you will pass so much of her on to your own children.

May you be comforted by all the great things she was to you and your family and rejoice that you will be reunited one day!

For those with a Momma’s heart but nothing to fill it yet…I have not walked in your shoes and cannot imagine the pain. I have walked it alongside my sweet daughter-in-law and son and remember every year that Mother’s Day would roll around how very difficult it was for her to even go to church on that otherwise happy day. Most services are not happening in churches around the country this Mother’s Day but a few are having their first service this weekend. If you choose to go to Mother’s Day service, I pray our Good Father wraps His arms around you and helps you to find an unexpected joy in a pew. Sometimes reaching out to others that are hurting is so very healing for your own soul. By serving, by giving, God will bless and cheer up your own hurting heart.

And if you choose NOT to go, or maybe not to watch, if the pain is just too much, He understands your hurt and can comfort you wherever you are. But do your best to not hide on this painful day but find joy in blessing another. I have friends that would avoid that day at church and I truly understand it is just too difficult for some who have lost so much or not been blessed with their hearts desire. Jesus truly knows your hurt and it’s OK. You do YOU. ♥

May God encourage you with His great love that He knows right where you are and although His timing is perfect, it is rarely ours. He hasn’t forgotten you and will continue to weave your great story in His kingdom.

My heart truly breaks for the mother who has lost a child today. No matter how old or how young they were, you should never have to bury your own child. We all know families that have suffered this great tragedy, only God knows the answer and truly, only God can heal their heart.

If this is you today, I am praying our great God wraps His arms around you and gives you comfort through your memories and the love of those close to you. He is able to literally carry you through this trial and even though the grief, the heartache and the longing will always be there in some fashion, He will help you bear it, He will help you carry on.

Do you know someone that has lost a child? Will you see them this weekend? Just say,  “I love you.” “I’m praying for you.” Or just say nothing at all, that hug, that squeeze of the hand, that arm around the shoulder lets them know you have not forgotten, no matter how long it has been. (Of course, social distancing has to be considered so make sure you respect others.)

To write a post from this perspective when your mother is still living and you have three grown children might seem as if I just don’t know what I am talking about and do not understand heartache and loss. I may not have walked the road, friend, but God can give compassion for us to love on those that are broken. He can help us understand and empathize with those that are suffering loss or have not experienced the joy of motherhood yet. My heart truly goes out to those who are hurting today.

We are called to be the church and encourage those that are broken, to walk this road TOGETHER.

So, if you find yourself sitting near a shattered heart today, whether in church or at the dinner table, be a comforter, a doer, a friend. Words are not even necessary if that is your struggle! Just let them know you care and if their heart is hurting, so is yours.

Jesus will send them strength today and it just might be through you.

God wants us to love on those around us, whether our heart is full or aching. The best way to fill that longing is to give, love and serve. Love like Jesus and He will fill your heart to overflowing on Mother’s Day and every day after. My love and prayers to you all.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.” Proverbs 31:30

For the kingdom