Category Archives: Unity

Fences & Boundaries: A few things I learned from The Amish

I’ve had the privilege to spend a few days in Amish and Mennonite country this weekend. I celebrated 36 years of wedded bliss with The Sweetheart on the 20th but we wanted to take a weekend and just relax. Thursday afternoon we headed north to Amish country. I had no idea 20,000+ Amish and Mennonite live in LaGrange and Elkhart counties! Indiana ranks third behind Pennsylvania and Ohio for total number of Amish residents with over 45,000. (This according to a 2012 study.)

We decided to drive the Heritage Trail and we are so glad we did. There is a free audio cd set that guides you along the way through the towns of Elkhart, Bristol, Middlebury, Shipshewana, Goshen, Nappanee and Wakarusa. You can start anywhere along the trail, stop at any roadside produce stand, restaurant, attraction that you please and start it up when you get back in the car. Had to share these shots I took of some gorgeous flowers at some of the Amish shops. Wow!

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We saw so many beautiful homes, farms and small towns we just couldn’t take it all in. We even happened upon two weddings and I couldn’t resist this picture of the bridal party crossing the street while the bridesmaid pulls out her selfie stick for a Kodak moment.

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We also stopped at a downtown farmer’s market that was mostly Amish/Mennonite. I bought a miniature pecan pie from a young Amish boy who was so eager to take my money and give good service. Just a few minutes later I walked around the back of the building to see if I could get a good picture of their buggies and there he was in his family buggy…counting his money. Some things are the same in every culture!

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To a teenager, this sounds like a trip for gouging out the eyes or at least rolling them to a permanent fixed state. But to a 54 and 55 year old this drive offered some of the most beautiful scenery anywhere in the country. It takes you along back roads where you can get a real picture of Amish and Mennonite way of living. I’ve never seen so many black buggies in all of my life! And bicycles! I guess I didn’t realize how many rode bikes. How cute is this picture we happened upon?

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One place we stopped was the Menno-Hof center where you can take a guided tour of the history of the Anabaptist people, their persecution in Europe and how they came to the United States. From there, you can witness their lifestyle and even see a full size replica of an Amish living room and kitchen. The tornado simulator is pretty awesome too.

During the first film we viewed, the narrator was talking about fences and boundaries that the Amish had set up so many years ago. These fences were designed to keep the influence of the world out of their lives so that they could more freely worship their creator. They did not want to be burdened or distracted by things that did not matter for eternity. Keeping life simple would mean they were less encumbered with snares and pitfalls that would hinder their Christian walk.

Fences Boundaries A few things I learned from the Amish

As the years passed, their plain way of living could easily become a snare all its own. The story was told of the Amish family leaving church after a particular service (which is held in their homes on a rotating basis). The husband/father remarked to his wife as they were loading their children in the buggy, “I believe that we were the plainest people there today!” Of this he was quite boastful. He was proud that they were following all of the rules to a T and it showed from the outside.

Now, before you misunderstand, I am most certainly NOT here to find fault with the Amish or Mennonite way of life or the choices they make to keep themselves untainted from the world. I admire their dedication and determination to stay the same in an ever-changing culture. This little story is just an example for us; we can learn many things from their devotion and commitment. The story above could apply to any sect, congregation or group. We must be careful not to be so proud of our stance that we are missing the entire point of our separation and dedication. Back in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s most women dressed similarly to the Amish as far as long, uncut hair, longer dresses and no makeup. They made most of their own clothes and life was centered around the home.

The Amish have just stayed the same when everyone else around them has changed with The Times and technological advances. They decided to keep things simple and one way to do that was to put up fences and boundaries.

The Amish originally put up fences years ago when they split from the Mennonites. They wanted a more conservative lifestyle in the way they literally lived and dressed. They decided to not conform to the world even when the automobile, electricity, telephones and so much more came to be common place. There are many other holiness organizations and religions that try to maintain a modest approach to dress and lifestyle but few, if any, have succeeded in staying the same for centuries when everything around them moved forward with technology and custom.

What can we learn from the perseverance of such a people? I came away impressed with their work ethic, friendliness, humor and close-knit relationships. They don’t change even when it seems the rest of us are forced to in order to continue to keep up with a world that is constantly moving forward. They just keep on doing what they have always done, the way they have always done it. Always the same.

What fences do we need to put up in a figurative sense and a literal sense to remain unspotted from the world? “That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” Ephesians 5:27.

Can we balance a separation from the world yet not alienate them in the process? Can we take a stand for truth, righteousness, holiness and the Word even when it is unpopular and possibly, someday soon, against the law?

I don’t think so! People want a change and expect a change when they come to The Church. They don’t want to remain in their sin or their sinful lifestyle. The Word promises them they will be filled with the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, who will come and live inside of them and make them more like Christ. They WANT to leave their chains behind them. They realize that light and darkness do not mix and they desire to leave the darkness behind.

Let’s not disappoint them by watering down our message or thinking we have to become like the world in order to win them. We must reflect Jesus and be instant in season and out of season so we are prepared to reap the harvest that is coming. As we near the coming of the Lord, and every day there are more signs that it is imminent, we must be Salt and Light in everything we say and do so that others may come to know Him.

Have a blessed week and be sensitive to how God may want to use you. Yes, YOU!

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Marrying The Haymaker

Who in this world doesn’t get excited about their very own birthday? No matter how old we are, how many birthdays we have seen come and go, everyone likes to be remembered and celebrated somehow on their birthday.

When I was dating The Sweetheart, way back in the day now, we were young.  So young that he hadn’t earned the term of endearment that we have christened him with in this century. No, he was lovingly referred to as The Haymaker, you can read that story here. I will wait for you.

Yes, we were very young. We had dated since I was 15 (hey, my parents let us date in groups until I was a mature 16) and engaged at 17. We were planning to get married when I turned 18. I realize I am putting myself out there for ridicule. This post isn’t for that so please don’t ruin my birthday/anniversary by telling me I married too young. You couldn’t have told us then we were too young to get married. You can’t convince a Romeo and Juliet that their LOVE isn’t strong enough to handle the curveballs that life is about to throw them when they are barely above being children themselves. At that age you think you know everything, have all the bases covered and will just take life’s lessons as they come.

And you also are pretty sure Jesus is coming back any day, any moment and you won’t get to be married and have children! I know, right? You thought that too?

But we did pretty well I think; still together, still in love, and three sons, soon to be three daughters in law and three beautiful granddaughters and a grandson on the way. That they  are all serving God today is more than we could have dreamed.

The subject of today’s post is the wedding itself. Looking at a calendar in February, 1979, sitting at a Noble Roman’s Pizza restaurant, our fave, we noticed something big. Really big. There were Friday nights and Saturdays available all summer long but we were partial to a Friday night wedding. I couldn’t get married until after July 20, that would be the 18th anniversary of my birth and I would finally be legal. Guess what day of the week the 20th fell on that year?

You guys are quick!

Hmmm. Birthdays are pretty big. You have one every single year. It’s your day and yours alone (unless you are a twin!) and you don’t usually want to celebrate it with anything or anyone else. I had always loved having my birthday in the summer months, no one else in the family celebrated in the summer…until the nephews came along and they took over July! One even came hours away from being born on my literal birthday. Yikes. (Happy Birthday, Cameron!)

July 20 was a special day. Right in the middle of summer, picnics, fireworks, school was out and to top it off, on my 8th birthday Neil Armstrong went to the moon and took a walk. We watched it in black and white while we ate birthday cake. Thanks for the memories Neil.

Again, being young, in love, and naïve, I thought it wouldn’t matter if I got married on my birthday, what was the big deal?

So it was settled. Friday, July 20, 1979 at 7:30 in the evening, we would get hitched.

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Our wedding ceremony was pretty uneventful. No one passed out, tripped down the aisle, forgot the ring or gave rabbit ears during the photography session.  The church was packed and it was a typically warm summer evening. We had even made it through with everyone still speaking to one another. Of course, weddings were not the colossal affair that they are today. I didn’t have a Wedding Planner, only a maid of honor, one bridesmaid, one junior bridesmaid and a flower girl. (And of course The Haymaker had all those guys on his side.) Expenses were minimal, but to me, everything was gorgeous. My florist was a friend of the family and even though I said, “Just a small bouquet of yellow roses will be fine”, by the time she was finished I seriously needed help carrying it down the aisle. It was the biggest, and most beautiful, bouquet I had ever seen.

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I remember The Haymaker had to work that day with his mason/contractor father. My mom, sister and sister-in-law all took me out for lunch and spoiled me that day. True to his romantic nature, my Romeo had a dozen long-stemmed, yellow roses delivered to my house that morning. What a guy.

And he didn’t forget my birthday. He had bought me an outfit to “go away” in after the wedding ceremony. (Pitter Patter)

After the ceremony, we opened every single one of our presents. (Who does that today?) It took over 2 ½ hours and by then it was 11:30 p.m.unnamed (8)

We were driving that night just a short 35 minute drive to Nashville, Indiana, reminiscent of a mini Pigeon Forge, even more popular today than it was then. So we were preparing to leave when everyone decides we have to take a lap up town around the square or it just wouldn’t be an official wedding. The Haymaker grabs the keys to his way-cool 1977 Firethorn Red Camaro and opens the door; and that’s when we realized the night wasn’t going to end without a few pranksters having a good laugh.

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Spilling out the car door were thousands upon thousands of punch-card computer chips/chads and Styrofoam packing peanuts. For all of you young’uns, an IBM punch card had holes positioned in it for analysis by an automatic data-processing machine. From 1890 until the 1970s, punch cards were synonymous with data processing. The concepts were simple: the database was the file cabinet; a record was a card. Processing was performed on separate machines called sorters, collators, reproducers, calculators and accounting machines.

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A chad is a tiny bit of paper that is punched from a ballot using a punch-type mechanical machine. Each chad, or chip, was about 3/8 of an inch long. A hanging chad is a chad that is not completely detached from the ballot. There were also dimpled chads and pregnant chads, as shown in the images below. The Hanging Chad was made infamous in the highly contentious 2000 United States presidential election where many of Florida voting stations used votomatic punched card ballots.

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Our friend and neighbor, Ray, worked at the bank at that time and had been saving these precious little guys for us for weeks. He thought it would be fun to fill that Firethorn Red Camaro with the IBM leftovers. And since he didn’t think cleaning out the chads would be enough excitement, he poured in boxes of Styrofoam packing peanuts! The car was “packed”, as they say. Thanks, Ray.

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Our first stop, after we left the church, was at a car wash where we shoveled out as many of the chads and peanuts as we could and then started vacuuming. It was no small task. (Thankfully we had changed out of our wedding attire since The Haymaker had on a 70’s white tux with white patent leather shoes. I was stunning in my beautiful new yellow two-piece polyester outfit that The Haymaker had bought for me.) I am pretty sure I was mumbling under my breath. Once we had swept up as much as the car wash vacuums could contain we then had to wash the car. Another one of our friends had covered it in shaving cream. I told The Haymaker we should have hidden his car somewhere and taken my beat up ’71 Nova with the four-on-the-floor!

With all of that behind us, it is now almost 1:30 in the morning when we arrive at our hotel in Nashville. This was a pretty nice place then and we were young, didn’t get out of town too often and were pretty much bleary-eyed by the time we opened the door. Thankfully, I was also cute, adorable and skinny then so The Haymaker, ever the gallant type, swoops me up with his “I’ve-been-putting-up-hay-bales-heavier-than-you-all-summer” muscled biceps and swings open the door.

What did we see behind that door that had us gasp in horror and have a story to tell for the next 37 years???

You can now read Part II of Marrying The Haymaker: The Finale here!

Forgiven much but I can’t forgive…


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“To forgive is to set the prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~ Lewis B. Smedes

“Then Peter came to Him (Jesus) and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’ ‘No, not seven times.’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’” Matthew 18:21, 22 NLT.
The beginning of the 18th chapter starts out with the disciples asking Jesus, “Who is greatest in the Kingdom?”  So Peter has definitely been listening as the Master has been teaching and he realizes that if you are going to be anything or anybody in the Kingdom you are going to have to be able to forgive.
Peter has been around a while. So when He asks the Lord how many times he should forgive his brother, he knew the number seven was God’s number. It represents the divine number of completion or perfection. God finished creating the earth in seven days.   “On the seventh day God had finished his work of creation, so he rested from all his work. And God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, because it was the day when he rested from all his work of creation.” Genesis 2:2, 3 NLT.
And I do not believe Jesus was making light of Peter’s question when He responded with a mathematical impossibility! Jesus replied with another number containing seven, the number seventy. The number seventy is also the number that symbolizes our life span on this earth, according to Psalm 90:10, “The days of our lives are seventy years…” NIV.
Jesus told Peter  that we are to forgive those that sin against us, or hurt us, as long as we live! Not as long as we feel like it. Not until the feeling passes or we get over it. But we are to keep forgiving, even if they keep hurting us over and over again, as long as we are alive on this earth. It really has nothing to do with the other person; but it has everything to do with us.
Once we realize that it is a command, and that it is something we must be doing pretty much the rest of our lives, we had better adjust the matter of the heart. If the heart isn’t right we won’t be able to forgive. “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31, 32. NLT.

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Forgive them even if they are not sorry. You don’t even forgive because they deserve it. We didn’t deserve it either. But you deserve peace. Many times they will not reciprocate. Many times they will not even care. Forgive anyway. It is simply impossible to experience the peace of God if we have not forgiven those who have hurt us.
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 NLT.
Real forgiveness isn’t filled with expectations that the other person is going to undergo some miraculous change, or send a dozen long-stemmed, red roses and apologize. All you have to do is the forgiving. Love them, release them, and let it go.

After Jesus told Peter he was to forgive seventy times seven, He went on to tell the story of Forgiven Much, But I Can’t Forgive. In my own words, He says the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a King who wanted to collect his accounts from all of those servants who had borrowed money from him. One of the debtors, who owed him millions of dollars, couldn’t pay, so the king ordered that he and all of his family be sold to pay the debt. But the man fell down and begged him to be patient with him and he promised to pay it all. So the king had mercy and released him and forgave him the debt and let him go!
But when that forgiven man left the king, he went to a fellow servant, who owed him just a few thousand dollars, and he grabbed him by the throat and demanded that he pay him what he owed immediately. His friend fell down at his feet and begged for more time to come up with the money but no way would the forgiven man have any leniency on him and he had him arrested and put in prison until he could pay.

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Some of the other servants had seen all that had happened and went and told the king because they were so upset. “Then the king called in the man that he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?’ Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart. Matthew 18:32-35. NLT.
“ Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had mercy on you?”
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37, 38 NLT.
Don’t let that bitterness take hold in your heart, it will literally grow and take root until it chokes the life out of you!

God is the Judge, let Him take care of who is right and who is wrong.

“Dear friends, never take revenge. For the Scriptures say, ‘I will take revenge; I will pay them back,’ says the Lord.” Romans 12:19 NLT.
You cannot allow pride to stand in the way of forgiveness becoming a vitally important part of your Christian walk. Nor can you afford for it to become so common that it is a casual byline much as in the way we use the word love.  We also use that same word for many other things. We love chocolate, football, and puppies. We say,  “Love ya, man!” And, “I’m so in love with that dress!” We can’t treat forgiveness in the same manner. When we do take the time to forgive we must mean it and take it in all seriousness. We need to be specific and apologize sincerely, asking for forgiveness.
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14, 15. NLT.
God is always pleased when we honor His Word, and His Word is pretty to the point on this one. If we don’t forgive our brother, He will not forgive us; and THAT is pretty plain.

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